Friday, April 29, 2005
I Love My Blog Readers
During my interminable commute home from work this afternoon, my thoughts of disabling the air bag and plowing into a brick wall were interrupted by the sudden appearance of a feces-brown Toyota truck that pulled out in front of me and slowed to ten miles under the posted speed limit. I would like, with your permission, to discuss the bumper stickers on said truck.

Bush/Cheney '04: Yeah, thanks for rubbing my nose in the carpet stain that is your political mindset.

Boycott France: Are we still on this subject? What a bold personal sacrifice for this lowlife to boycott all things French. How, after a hard day as mop boy at the peep show, does he unwind with inferior quality champagne and caviar?

I'm the Proud Parent of a D.A.R.E. Student: And he's the embarrassed offspring of a simple-minded douchebag.

I Love My Family: Why are you telling me this? "Oh, this bitchhole just made me slam on my brakes because he was too impatient to wait the two extra seconds for my car to clear the intersection, but that's okay, he loves his family." How can I nominate him for a Nobel Peace Prize? Is Sainthood an option? I'm not gay, but I want to have unprotected sex with the fabulous guy who loves his family.

The only thing missing was an unlicensed Calvin urinating on the car number of his least favorite Nascar driver.


Blogger MsHellion said...

This is why I think that if this whole shithole planet exploded, it would be for the greater good. God forbid aliens land in Missouri and we go down in galactic history as a bunch of Skeeters and Mistys.

Blogger jessyio said...


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