Tuesday, June 28, 2005
Comedy Club Douchebag
There was one incident over the weekend that merits a blogging.

I went to a comedy club on Saturday night. The comics weren't well-known, but they were fairly amusing. The problem with going to a comedy club in Las Vegas is all the comics feel compelled to do Las Vegas jokes. "Blah blah I lost my money blah blah I ate a buffet blah blah." The tourists eat that shit up. I don't understand that. I've been a tourist in San Francisco, Orlando, New York City, Los Angeles, etc. I never had the thought "It would be great if someone would pander to me with the worst type of lowest common denominator pablum." However, much to the comics' credit, they got that shit out of the way and then made some amusing observations.

The headliner that night started asking questions of members of the audience, and that's when I got the opportunity to see not just a jackass, but a rare and coveted jackass emeritus. I don't remember his name, so let's call him Prick. Prick stood up in the middle of the show to go to the bathroom. He may in hindsight have been better served sitting in a puddle of his own piss.

The following exchange occurred:
Comedian: "Sir, where are you from?"
Prick(slurring almost incoherently): "Uuuh, California."
Comedian: "Do you live in a city or just aimlessly roam about the state?"
Prick: "I gotta piss."
The crowd erupted and the guy stumbled toward the men's room.

The comedian then started talking to Prick's party and discovered two of them were old friends of Prick who moved from Cali to Denver. They met Prick in Las Vegas and brought with them a blind date for him. How's that for friends? They didn't know it, but that friendship was about to be publicly shat upon.

After a few minutes Prick came back to his table.
Comedian: "So, your friends set you up with this lovely young lady..."
Prick: "I didn't know she was Korean."

What? That's all that went through my mind.

Comedian: "Uh, I don't think that's something you should say."
Prick: "I expect my laundry done by 5."

The crowd, to its credit, booed and hissed the racist fuckface. He said that shit about his date RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER, in public no less. He was drunk, but I've been drunk before and racism isn't a by-product of shitfacery. I'll bet Prick's friends won't be setting him up again.

I saw Prick's date/victim in the lobby after the show. She was absolutely beautiful, a real hottie. He was at best an average shlub. Some people wouldn't know good fortune if it sat on their face and spun 'round like a record.


Blogger Egan said...

Really nice story here. Why oh why are these types of people let out in the general public?

Blogger katarina said...

Exactly. You don't become a racist because you're drunk. But alcohol brings out the truth, magnified. That comedian could've made himself famous and got laid had he took Prick down.

Blogger Brookelina said...

Love your writing. Ashame the comedian didn't rip into the prick like he so rightfully deserved.

Blogger Rob Danger said...

wow, that is fucking horrible. I think I'd have burst into tears were I the girl.

Blogger Ruben said...

It's unfortunate that she didn't do the other stereotypical Asian thing and kung-fu his damn brains out. What an asshole!

Blogger MoDigli said...

The only good thing is that the girl had a clear and easy way OUT of EVER seeing him again! ...ew...

Blogger Cincysundevil said...

What a prick!! I hope someone on the way out jacked that guy up. On top of that, I can't imagine what his friends were thinking after he pretty much decided to light a cross on the table in front of them with his statements!

Blogger WhiteBoyBob said...

Niiiiice. I can't really add anything else to what people have already said, except......err. Nope, I got nuthin'!

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