Monday, May 21, 2007
T-Shirt of an American Asshole

I was out this past weekend trying to get drunk and forget my many troubles when my buzz was mortally wounded by a supreme douche wearing this t-shirt.

I'm not even going to debate the war right now. Really, I'm not in the fucking mood. My only question for the guy wearing this t-shirt is this: "Why the fuck aren't you in Iraq, asshole?"

He appeared to be in his mid-twenties, so why didn't he volunteer to NOT BE A CHICKEN? Why was he showing his bravery by downing Bud Light at a bar in Louisville, KY? Wouldn't he and his courageousness better serve this country by dodging bullets in Baghdad?

People like him make me sick to my stomach. How dare this fucking scumbag mock someone's deeply held beliefs when he doesn't have the grapes to back up his own opinion. And what kind of brain dead buffoon equates bravery with demanding OTHER PEOPLE die on foreign soil?

To suggest that those who want peace, those who want our troops to stop coming home in body bags, are somehow cowards while you "support the troops" by doing body shots off of shapely female bar staffers is the very definition of hypocrisy; and deserves a shoe to the 'nads.

To summarize: Fuck that shirt. Fuck the company that sells it. Fuck everyone who wears it. And fuck Sean Hannity for using the shirt as a jizz rag while masturbating to a transcript of his horrid TV show.




21 Comments:

Blogger brookelina said...

That may be the most offensive - and UnAmerican - thing I have ever seen.

Blogger Alison said...

Wow. That's a pretty nasty t-shirt.

And what brookelina said.

Blogger Alison said...

Also, I was just thinking, if it were really a "footprint," then it's upside down. Dumbass. That American Chicken is heading toward YOUR family jewels!

Blogger kris said...

I agree regarding the offensiveness - not just of the shirt, but of the mental image of Sean Hannity's penis . . .

Blogger miss kendra said...

that is so so very bad.

thanks todd, your righteous anger did make me feel better.

Blogger Melissa said...

I've noticed that the guys who wear those shirts would be doing the world a huge favor by kindly and immediately skimming themselves from the gene pool.

Also, Sean Hannity does NOT need a cum mop. He just doesn't. Because I'm a little too fragile for that particular mental image right now.

Blogger Tracy said...

And what kind of brain dead buffoon equates bravery with demanding OTHER PEOPLE die on foreign soil...

Todd, meet George and Dick.

Blogger Tracy said...

i was at GermanFest up here in Chicago(johnny, ubie, ever been?)

anyway, walking thru the large German crowd was The Crown Prince of douchebaggery wearing a NaziSwastika t-shirt. The Cops made him take it off but LO, he had Swastikas tattooed all over his torso.

Blogger Kate said...

you rock.

Blogger Flounder said...

For the record, I wasn't anywhere near Louisville this weekend.

Blogger Crystal said...

i can't see the shirt!





disappointment.

Blogger Crackah Nonsense said...

When you're in your 20s, the world is black-and-white. It'd be interesting to meet that guy in 20 years and see where he's at in his worldview. Or maybe just to bitch-slap him in front of his children.

Blogger Johnny Yen said...

That one was, unfortunately, brought back from the sixties.

One time, when Eugene McCarthy, who'd run in the 1968 Democratic Primary as a peace candidate, spoke at my college in the mid eighties, one of the campus conservatives got up during the Q and A and stated that most of the people that protested the war were people who were just afraid to go to a war, my response was two-fold:

1. Why wasn't he signed up for the military or even the ROTC (a number of my friends were) This guy was the ultimate Chickenhawk. Well, except for maybe Dick Cheney.
2. Anybody who isn't afraid to go to a war has something wrong with them. My brother and any other combat vet will tell you that.

Blogger Molly said...

Word.

Blogger Übermilf said...

You should've stuck a boot in his ass. I hear that many Americans feel that is an appropriate response when you are angry.

Which GermanFest, Tracy?

Blogger J.J said...

Just found your blog through that 7 things tag...and had to say how much I agree with you and your commentators about that god awful tee shirt.

I can not comment on Sean Hannity's penis though as of that I know nothing.

Blogger Tits McGee said...

I really wish you hadn't put "Sean Hannity" and "jizz" in the same sentence. It's a horrible insult to jizz.

Blogger Johnny Yen said...

Tracy-- it's about two blocks from my home. Since I have zero interest in German food or culture, I never go. Culturally, my favorite place is "Feed The Beast," a cool bar at Lincoln and Cullom.

Blogger Übermilf said...

No interest in German...

I'll have you know, Mr. Yen, that I was the Chicago Brauhaus Oktoberfest yodeling queen in 1995.

I won a box of beer steins.

They were quite nice, actually.

Blogger Tracy said...

Du Bist eine gutte Ubie-frau!

GermanFest in Lincoln Square
used to be a pretty good time.
Since i've gotten old and cranky it's lost some of it's appeal.

Now OktoberFest at Hans Bavarian Lodge in Wheeling was kickass back in the day.

Blogger Princess Pointful said...

Kudos for this post.
Yeah, not wanting people to die is chicken shit, for sure.

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