Okay, so I want to bang a right-wing political pundunt

I want to have crazy, drunken, dangerous sex with this woman. She's conservative commentator and former Republican speech writer Amy Holmes, and I fell in lust while disagreeing with almost everything she said on Bill Maher's show a few weeks ago.

I want to practice supply-side fuckanomics with this vixen. I want to demonstrate the trickle-down theory, if you know what I mean.

Oh, there would be downsides to a relationship with Amy Holmes. For one, I'd have to listen to her endless prattle about school vouchers and the repeal of the estate tax. And, dare I say, dating a black conservative from Washington, D.C. would probably mean at least one Fourth of July weekend at Clarence Thomas' house for a Nascar-themed cookout (where the phrase "Pass the potato salad, baby-killer" would be tossed at me repeatedly).

But it would be worth it, I tell you, at least until the inevitable BIG ARGUMENT:

Amy: "Honey, don't forget Saturday night we have that cocktail party at Trent Lott's house."

Me: "Trent Lott? Oh for fuck's sake..."

Amy: "Who listened to Al Franken for an hour and a half at that Correspondence Dinner last month, just to make you happy?"

Me: "Darling, if Trent Lott had his way you wouldn't have the right to vote."

And that would pretty much be the end of it.