Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Okay, so I want to bang a right-wing political pundunt
I want to have crazy, drunken, dangerous sex with this woman. She's conservative commentator and former Republican speech writer Amy Holmes, and I fell in lust while disagreeing with almost everything she said on Bill Maher's show a few weeks ago.

I want to practice supply-side fuckanomics with this vixen. I want to demonstrate the trickle-down theory, if you know what I mean.

Oh, there would be downsides to a relationship with Amy Holmes. For one, I'd have to listen to her endless prattle about school vouchers and the repeal of the estate tax. And, dare I say, dating a black conservative from Washington, D.C. would probably mean at least one Fourth of July weekend at Clarence Thomas' house for a Nascar-themed cookout (where the phrase "Pass the potato salad, baby-killer" would be tossed at me repeatedly).

But it would be worth it, I tell you, at least until the inevitable BIG ARGUMENT:

Amy: "Honey, don't forget Saturday night we have that cocktail party at Trent Lott's house."

Me: "Trent Lott? Oh for fuck's sake..."

Amy: "Who listened to Al Franken for an hour and a half at that Correspondence Dinner last month, just to make you happy?"

Me: "Darling, if Trent Lott had his way you wouldn't have the right to vote."

And that would pretty much be the end of it.


13 Comments:

Blogger Nick said...

traitor.

Blogger Shannon said...

I had the strangest dream about you and your blog. Perhaps it was latent guilt for not being a good blogreader like I used to be when I actually had nothing to do at work...oh, those good ole days when I could complain my talent was being wasted...

Blogger Ćœbermilf said...

You can't have sex with her (or "it") because it's mechanical.

They create these robots and fit them with voice boxes and send the on TV shows. Don't you know anything?

Blogger April said...

and here I was thinkin' you were lusting after me...

darn.

Blogger miss kendra said...

she reminds me of a fraggle.

Blogger Johnny Yen said...

I never, ever put up with completely incompatible women so long as I was gettin' the goodies, especially when I was in my twenties. Really.

Blogger Dr. Chingasa said...

Your penis is going to hell.

Blogger brookelina said...

You and your penis are going to hell. At least you'll be together.

Blogger Blonde said...

Just stick your cock in her mouth constantly so she can't speak. Or get her one of those gag ball thingys...

Any Larry Birkheard & DannieLynn sightings yet??

Blogger Ian McGibboney said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

Blogger Ian McGibboney said...

If you click on her picture and shave the jpeg name off the URL, you get the GOP Babe of the Week gallery. What makes that site doubly depressing is that most of them are, in fact, good-looking.

How this tribute to strong women jibes with the GOP's current barefoot-pregnant-no-makeup philosophy has my pointy liberal brain perplexed.

But of COURSE they make you see some retarded ad before they let you see any images. That I understand completely.

Blogger Al Sensu said...

Can you say James Carville and Mary Matalin?

Blogger Flounder said...

You can have her if I can have Kim Bassinger.

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