Monday, April 16, 2007
Why isn't Rush in jail? And other matters

Despite this glorious image of Scumbag Emeritus Rush Limbaugh behind bars, silently preparing himself for a brutal prison rape, the drug abusing hypocrite remains free.

If Rush Limbaugh had an ounce of the personal integrity he so piously demands of others he would have REQUESTED a jail sentence instead of jumping through legal hoops to avoid doing time. By the way, Rush seemed to lose his hatred of trial lawyers when he needed one to save his ass.

Why am I bringing up this rather old news event? Well, Google just agreed to buy a huge amount of advertising on Clear Channel radio stations. Clear Channel is an ultra-conservative corporate juggernaut that doesn't look kindly to criticism of the GOP, so I've decided to get my shots in at right wing douchebags before Google sends their jack-booted thugs to the "door" of my little blog.

Oh, and I also like to remind people that Rush Limbaugh is a pill-poppin' piece of human excrement.

So while I still can, allow me to take my shot at two other prominent conservatives.

-Sean Hannity is such a shameless shill for the Bush administration, I honestly think he would approve of his own execution if President Bush signed the death warrant. "Today our courageous Commander-in-Chief decided that I must die by firing squad. I wholeheartedly support this decision and look forward to my impending death at the hands of this great man."

-And speaking of President Bush, the White House issued a statement following the tragic shootings at Virginia Tech. The statement ended with "The President believes there is a right for people to bear arms, but that all laws must be followed."

Could the President please take his lips off the NRA's cock just long enough for the next of kin to be notified? Send your hollow condolences and be done with it! Don't suck up to the gun lobby when the bodies are still warm, you unconscionable bastard.


Blogger miss kendra said...

oh dear.

clear channel = big brother = skynet.

somebody hold me. i'm ever so skeered.

Blogger Brookelina said...

Soon google will rule the world, and then what will we all do? We might actually have to leave the house to shop. Oh the horror.

Also, Bush sucks. Now if only someone would catch him in the act of sucking a sexual organ, we could finally impeach him. Because obviously causing the deaths of thousands isn't going to do it.

Blogger Alison said...

Clear Channel and Google? Say it ain't so...

Also, Bush REALLY sucks.

Blogger Ćœbermilf said...

Karl Rove is the antiChrist!

Karl Rove eats babies!

Bohemian Grove!

and stuff.

Blogger Melissa said...

He actually said that he supports the right to bear arms in his speech after those people were shot to death? Dear lord, how did I miss that?

I can think of about a thousand more appropriate places to state your stance on carrying weaponry than during a speech regarding the Virginia Tech shootings.

I don't even have anything insightful to add to the discussion. My flabber is gasted.

Blogger Tracy said...

I suppose they argue that if those 32 kids had been allowed to carry a concealed weapon they'd all be alive now.

Why doesn't anyone try to shoot Rush? He's got to be carrying a wad of cash and a pocketfull of dope.

Better yet, let his miserable ass OD.

Blogger Tracy said...

Who wants to join me on the 100 acre fantasy farm where people aren't fucking idiots, sanity reigns, and we don't have to shill for the man?


Blogger Monkey said...

Please tell me you made that part about Bush up. Christ on a popsicle stick. He's a very sick, sick man.

There are simply no words.

Guns don't kill people. Pissed off Asians who don't like getting dumped kill people (with guns). And yes, if just one teacher or student had been packing that day, perhaps the shooter would have been stopped short of the 32 he managed to kill. I don't recall the specifics, but in one of the fairly recent high school shootings, the kid was finally stopped by a teacher who went to his car and got his gun. So there's that.

Blogger FRITZ said...

Oh, fuck this immoral world.

I came back from blog oblivion and no I'm going to pack it all in and head off again.


Blogger Flounder said...

You're a great American Todd.

(And I don't see that Bush quote anywhere, Jayson Blair.)

Anonymous Anonymous said...

i heart you.

Blogger The Stormin Mormon said...

Rush is an entertainer (and loosely one at that), and I take about as much stake in his comments as I do in Howard Sterns...

Sean Hannity is a Republican to the core. Party line all the way. But we have those idiots on both sides of the aisle.

And getting rid of law abiding citizens owning firearms would have prevented this? Bush didn't need to make that statement, but at the same time, it's the truth.

Blogger Tits McGee said...

This post is like foreplay for me.

I so heart you.

Blogger Mister Mxyzptlk said...

Google's big play is that they are using the same techniques of targeted ad sales across other media, such as radio, so they are either buying time to re-sell it or acting as brokers.

As to Bush and guns, McCain is right with him carrying his purse.

Blogger Frans said...

So, imagine this. A local WalMart, Bentonville, Arkansas, 5PM. Jimmy the stock clerk drops a shelf in aisle 5. A law abiding citizen in aisle 6, jumpy from all the Muslims flying planes into buildings in Little Rock and all the Koreans shooting blacks in bodegas in the Bronx, mistakes the loud bang for a gunshot. He pulls out his fully legal, semi-automatic Glock G21 and runs to aisle 5 and shoots little Jimmy the stock clerk terrorist who had the audacity to drop a shelf while holding a pricing gun. From aisle 7 comes another law abiding citizen carrying his S&W 460XVR, and, alerted by the shots, pops a cap in Mr. Aisle 6, sending him and his law-abiding Glock careening to the floor in a shower of blood and lead. Soon, law abiding citizens from around the store are SWAT-teaming to aisle 5, in a Charlie's Angels stance, all convinced they are the only law-abiding citizens with the judgement to know what happened. Suddenly, 55 WalMart shoppers are lying in a Styx-like river of blood, guns, and guts in aisle 5, with the lone remaining gunman now surrounded by a real SWAT team, assault rifles in hand, with no patience to find out what really happened. If only they outlawed shelves, or price guns, or fumble-fingered teenage stock clerks, then all this tragedy could have been averted. Do you guys remeber school? How many of those psychopathic teachers would you have wanted armed on a daily basis? None for me, thank you. How many of you gun nuts are Cristians? If you are truly a Christian, why would you need a gun for protection? Isn't Jeebus going to protect you, and if he doesn't, isn't it God's will that you die? Won't you go to a better place? If you truly believe, you have no need for a gun. What are you, some godless heathen, son of an athiest, or something?

Blogger Princess Pointful said...

Totally agreed on the utter cheap shot of throwing in the gun control endorsement in what is supposed to be a statement of support.

Is it possible to make this about the victims for just a little while before it turns political?

(obviously not, given it's Friday and everyone has already picked their issue to start screaming about)

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