Monday, April 02, 2007
The DWaFM Meme
If you're like me and you can't think of anything to write about on your blog, answer these questions I just made up.

Have you ever kicked a guy squaw in the nuts?
Not intentionally. Everyone has accidentally hit some random dude in the scrote with a football or whatever, but it's kind of a guy code not to run around tagging sacks. Of course, if I was ever viciously attacked without provocation the code would go right down the toilet. I'd kick some bag like Adam Veniteri trying to win the Super Bowl.

What is your favorite swear word when you're angry?
No, it isn't "cunt". I hardly ever say that in real life. When I'm really pissed I like to shout "godfuckingdamnit" because it's both obscene and blasphemous.

Would you rather your date have bad gas or incontinence?
Face it, farts are funny; and there's nothing funny about pants wetting, unless grandma wizzes on the kitchen floor and then your idiot cousin, the one with the full collection of Song of the South commemorative plates, slips in the puddle and bruises her tailbone.

My friend, who is of the male gender, threw a Steel Magnolias party. Is he gay?
Actually having intercourse with another man isn't as gay as throwing a Steel Magnolias party.

Have you ever dated a "Ten"?
No, but one semester in college I dated five "twos". (I stole this joke from George Carlin)

What's better, pizza or oral sex?
Well, it comes down to who's making the pizza versus who's sucking my cock. I will say that it's easier to get a pizza.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
My soul.

If you could feed Simon Cowell through a woodchipper in front of his parents, what kind of pants would you wear?
Standard blue jeans.

Can you reveal any little-known celebrity facts?
Mr. T is actually an Asian woman.

Is there anything more lame than making up your own meme questions?
Uh, no.


Blogger The Stormin Mormon said...

Swear: Recently, "fuckstick."

Gas or Urine: Gas... And the date is still over.

Gay: Yes, he must turn in any heterosexual paraphernalia and surrender to the lust he's hiding for pole...

Ten?: Yes, it was wonderful.

Pizza or a BJ: The BJ, but that was closer than you think... I was thinking of the TEN...

Change: Hmm... Really white teeth.

Pants: The pants that go with the Tuxedo T-Shirt

Celebs: Jessica Biel has had a crush on me since late 2005.

Questions: Maybe answering them in the comments.

Blogger Monkey said...

Oh how I want to meet your idiot cousin with the full collection of "Song of the South" plates. And your grandma too. What a party we could have!

I enjoyed this self-administered meme immensely. Thank you.

Blogger Tracy said...

Zip A deeee Doo Dah, that was fuckin funny.

I think i pee'd myself. Wanna grab a pizza?

Blogger Brookelina said...

Oh goody! A meme for me to do!

Blogger katarina said...

Wow, our answers are almost identical.
But I'll take the oral sex over pizza.

Blogger Nick said...

Finally Brooke will have a new post.

Blogger Flounder said...

I've had lots of tens, but they always seemed to turn into threes the next morning.

Blogger April said...

oral sex or pizza?

why can't ya have both?

Blogger Übermilf said...

I'd rather drink a cup of tea and watch American Movie Classics.

Blogger Cold Hands said...

"What's better, pizza or oral sex?"

So the two at the same time would be sensory overload huh?

Thanks a lot you cunt, now I'm hungry and slightly horny. (I bet you hear that a lot huh?)

Blogger Tits McGee said...

Pizza or a BJ: SHAZAM!

Blogger Monkey said...

Übie watches circa 1954 erotica on American Movie Classics. At the bright hour of 6:00AM even!

(that movie is still giving me nightmares)

Blogger miss kendra said...

that was awesome.

Blogger Ev said...

this one time i went on a date with a guy who burped incessantly. if i pretended it wasn't a burp, it smelled like really good mexican food. but really, it was a burp and i knew that and my gag reflex knew that but i handled it anyway and was kind of horny so i made out with him and prayed he didn't burp in my mouth, but then i opened my eyes and his right eye had rolled way back up in his head and he didn't notice (he was blind in that eye) and then i was all, 'holyshitballs, i need to get the fuck out of here.' and so i did. and i never saw him again. so now i don't date guys who burp. that shit is disgusting.

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