Uh, the title is fairly self-explanatory, but to reiterate, here are some Headlines You'll Never See.
Bush Speech Wows Mensa Convention
Latest PETA Campaign Fair-Minded, Reasonable
Harvard Grad Reports UFO Sighting
Handsome Man Charged With Sexual Harassment
GM Moves Mexico City Plant Back to Detroit
Britney Spears to Focus on Raising Her Children
Drop in College Tuition Prices Tied to Athletic Department Cuts
Talented Musician Tops Pop Chart
Jessica Alba Weds Obscure Louisville Blogger
Gunman Described By Friends as "Talkative, Social"
Jay Leno Says Something Funny
Bush Speech Wows Mensa Convention
Latest PETA Campaign Fair-Minded, Reasonable
Harvard Grad Reports UFO Sighting
Handsome Man Charged With Sexual Harassment
GM Moves Mexico City Plant Back to Detroit
Britney Spears to Focus on Raising Her Children
Drop in College Tuition Prices Tied to Athletic Department Cuts
Talented Musician Tops Pop Chart
Jessica Alba Weds Obscure Louisville Blogger
Gunman Described By Friends as "Talkative, Social"
Jay Leno Says Something Funny
16 Comments:
Perfect!
So who cooks, you or Jess?
I wish I was Jessica Alba.
yeah, i have a girl crush on jessica alba. she's hot.
If Jessica doesn't treat you well, I'll bust her kneecaps.
Here's one:
Todd eyes succulent watermelon, chooses to leave it for his friend John.
That's right, buddy, I'm never letting that one go. EVER!
how about, "miss kendra makes it down flight of stairs safely."
Gerard Butler challenges Viggo Mortensen to a duel for Brookelina's hand in marriage.
Gerard Butler is gay.
Alba's hotness is on the wane, I'm afraid.
ScarJo on the other hand will never be not hot.
Also, you'll never see this one:
MTV dumps rich, spoiled cunts as target audience.
Here's what's sad-- even my 13 year old son, who loves Letterman, makes fun of Leno's unfunniness.
Leno was actually great whenever was a guest on Letterman's show, back in the day.
"Family Circus: The Movie Tops Box Office!"
:P
spinning girl,
oh, do you think Ms. Hollywood can be bothered to pick up a pan? I eat out a lot (which is why she married me).
kat,
you are just fine as you are.
kate,
come on over. Jess is down with that.
ubie,
that is so sweet.
john,
that headline needs a little editing.
kendra,
now you're just being silly.
brooke,
so you'd have to marry a convicted murderer.
nick,
her hotness is on the wane? Yeah I suppose I could do better (HA).
cincy,
oh, to be a rich, spoiled cunt, even for only a day.
johnny,
that's why it's so sad to even watch Leno.
vast,
no one messes with the man-fur!
la dolce,
damn it! I heard Jeffy was kidnapped, raped, and murdered by an escaped mental patient.
Jessica Alba Weds Obscure Louisville Blogger
-Hey, we're all pulling for ya.
Jessica Biel and I will attend the wedding, but won't announce our engagement, because we wouldn't want to steal the moment...
So by talented, you wouldn't mean Daughtry?
I read this post the other day and laughed...
Today i sat at my computer and opened my usual news site and read this headline "Britney focuses on her children". I thought the world had gone mad and put you in charge of the headlines.
These things all happened in an alternate universe! Unfortunately, Hitler also won WW2.
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