Friday, March 16, 2007
American Douche

The mere sight of this picture makes me sick to my stomach. Look at that fucking scrote Chris Daughtry. There's a look on his face that suggests he just got a whiff of Seacrest's pussy-fart. He needs to be slapped across the grill with a bag of subway tokens.

Oh, he's making the double devil sign gesture. How 'rock'! The guitarist for Black Sabbath should be allowed to saw all of Daughtry's fingers off for committing such a blasphemy.

Where I work the word "Daughtry" is synonymous with "shit":

"I have to take a healthy Daughtry."

"Damn, it smells in here. Someone Daughtry'd in his pants."

"I walked outside and stepped in a huge, steaming pile of Daughtry."

And why does Ryan Seacrest get work? He is so void of a personality that I can't even think of anything to say about him.


Blogger Ćœbermilf said...

Can't Seacrest be a euphamism for something? Menstrual fluid?

"I've got Seacrest all over my panties and I'm out of tampons. Can I borrow a quarter?"

Blogger Brookelina said...

Everything you said about Daughtry goes double for Seacrest. He is a plague on society.

Blogger Nick said...

Green is such a bad color on you, Todd.

Blogger yellowdog granny said...

seacrest has a personality like a crocker sack full of hemrhoids..

Blogger The Stormin Mormon said...

Seacrest is a brand of douche!

Blogger miss kendra said...

i'm pretty sure daughtry's thumbs are out, which means he is actually making the stoner/surfer sign for hang loose/hang ten.

I have no idea who those people are. I get the feeling that's a good thing. They look like fags. Nick would know. Are they gay, Nick?

Blogger Ms Smack said...

Seacrest is looking mighty old and tired. Is he gay?

Blogger yournamehere said...

I hear club soda will get Seacrest out of anything.

he's everywhere, too. By 2010 he'll be doing the nightly news on CBS.

you bald guys always stick together.

are you the ghost of Molly Ivins? Hilarious!

Then I think ladies should buy the store brand.

actually, the sign for hang ten only involves the thumb and pinky, not the index finger.

Daughtry is giving a douched up version of the rock and roll devil horns symbol.

it's really good you don't know who they are.

ms. smack,
they showed a video of Seacrest when he worked for a local news affiliate in San Francisco, rubbing oil all over a male bodybuilder on live television. So yes he is.

Blogger Spinning Girl said...

Ryan Seacrest needs to be beaten by a shirtless mother and daughter on Live Idol.

Blogger yournamehere said...

spinning girl,

make it those Gilmore Girls and you have yourself a deal.

Blogger Tracy said...

With your luck Todd,
it would be a shirtless Rosie O'Donnel and Her daughter.

Oh my eyes! my eyes! I just daughtry'd myself.

Blogger Tracy said...

Maybe Seacrest can be a euphemism for that oily anal leakage one gets from olestra and those diet pills of a few years ago.

Blogger Jen said...

I don't know what's funnier...the posts or the comments!

Blogger Dale said...

Call it what it is, a photo of a young Uncle Fester with Ryan Seabreeze.

Blogger Steph said...

We get this crappy show on weekends down here and I have to say, Seacrest is painful to watch. You'd think with your plethora of tv hosting talent over there, you would come up with someone a little less annoying to watch!

Blogger yournamehere said...

Rosie O'Donnel's daughter is a minor. Please don't get my blog shut down as a kiddie porn site.

I'd rather be the fattest person on Earth than have anal leakage.

oh, the comments are much funnier. I have to flatter these egomaniacs or they won't come back.

Daughtry should mate with Britney Spears.

if you hosted Idol I'd watch it.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

so true, my boy. so true.

Blogger Tits McGee said...

You know what's cute? Kittens.

Blogger Cold Hands said...

when i saw that picture I thought 'now what's that guy from Blossom doing hanging out with that douche bag?'

Blogger katrocket said...

your blog is really hilarious!

I have no idea why I had to tell you that on a daughtry/seacrest comment thread.

must take shower - feel so unclean

Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

Ryan Seacrest is so tiny that whenever I see him on TV I have the urge to craddle him like a baby.

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