Saturday, March 10, 2007
Will the Real John McCain Please Sit Down?















I honestly think John McCain is threatening George W.'s life in this photo. I imagine him saying menacingly "Listen, rich boy, while you were getting drunk with your buddies in the Texas National Guard, a cadre of North Vietnamese prison guards were using my nutsack as a pincushion; so tell one more fucking lie about me and I'll gut you in front of your ugly mother."

That's back when I had respect for John McCain. Now that he's proven himself to be just another political hack, willing to say anything to be elected, I'm hoping he isn't afforded a stage in which to further discredit himself.

The slide down the slippery slope of whoredom starting during the 2oo4 Presidential campaign. Now, even though he was a close personal friend of Sen. Kerry, no one could have realistically expected McCain to endorse the opponent of a sitting President from his own party. That would have been political suicide. But for him to enthusiastically campaign for a man he personally hates from the depths of his soul goes beyond mere party loyalty.

Now that McCain is running for President his own self, he's taken a sharp turn right. He was once vaguely pro choice, for instance, and now he's decidedly pro life. I'm going to start referring to flip flops as "John McCains".
Usage: "It's warm out, so I'll forgo the shoes for a comfortable pair of John McCains."

Seriously, McCain has changed positions more often than Jesse Jane in Island Fever 3.

If the Presidential Race turns out to be McCain versus Hillary Clinton, good god almighty brace yourself for pandering that might stop your beating heart. Oh, it's going to be a pander-off for the ages! The world will not have seen such pandering since I was in college and told that sorority girl I wanted to hear her Huey Lewis tape so she'd give me a quick handjob before lunch.




15 Comments:

I think your probably right about the death threat in this picture. Due to previous contractual agreements with you, I will refrain from further comment on this post.

Blogger April said...

a handjob for listening to Huey Lewis??

hell...listening to that swill is worth more than than, dude!

willya listen to my PCD cd if i offer the same? heh.

Blogger Brookelina said...

I'm sure he and Karl Rove will strike up a lovely campaign together. Maybe this time they can accuse Hillary of having an illegitimate black child.

Blogger Tits McGee said...

You don't need money, don't take fame. Don't need no credit card to ride this train. It's strong and it's sudden and it's cruel sometimes, but it might just save your life. That's the power of love.

Or the power of a handjob, anyway.

Blogger The Stormin Mormon said...

I love the fact that I googled "Island Fever 3" because I wasn't familiar with the title.

Blogger Sis B said...

Here is an informative take on McCain by a Republican wife of a wounded soldier who had the "pleasure" of meeting him at Walter Reed.

It's warm out, I'm thinking of wearing my John McCain's.

Blogger Ćœbermilf said...

I think I'm going to vote for all write-in candidates.

Blogger Monkey said...

I'm going to watch Island Fever 3, rub one out and go blissfully to sleep.

Blogger yournamehere said...

vast,
actually, what I meant was a McCain-Hillary race would feature horrible pandering from both parties.

april,
I will listen to anything for the same from you.

brooke,
those bastards just might!

tits,
don't forget the power of your tits.

stormin,
I just picked a title from Jesse Jane's wikipedia entry.

sis b,
that is disturbing and very disappointing.

ubie,
writing a name? That takes too much effort.

Blogger yournamehere said...

monkey,
Island Fever 3, the final chapter of the Island Fever trilogy, is a good one to rub one out to.

Blogger Flounder 2k7 said...

Huey Lewis and a handjob?

Damn, Todd, you're my hero.

...and I just love that Darrell-Hammond-as-Dick-Cheyney-esque grin that McCain has in that picture.

Blogger Andi said...

Oddly enough, my first thought was that ole Johnny was asking Dubya to dinner.

Blogger miss kendra said...

i love that you reference porn stars in your political blogging.

it's so honest.

Blogger ETaylor said...

I cannot believe noone said anything about John McCains teeth in that picture...EWWWW

Blogger Spinning Girl said...

John McCain needs Crest Whitestrips.

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