Monday, February 19, 2007
Sorry, when life throws you an underhanded pitch, you have to take a swing...

I'm sorry. I realize this is the most hackneyed, overdone blog topic ever, but look at Britney Spears. JUST LOOK AT HER.

Well, if she wanted attention, she got it; as a fucking laughingstock, but hasn't that been the case for the past few years?

Actually this could open up new career paths, since being a talentless strumpet doesn't pay as well when you're no longer hot. Britney could be:

-Uncle Fester's love interest in Addam's Family 3: The Search for a Living Human as Odd Looking as Raul Julia.

-
Sinead O'Conner's dimwitted doppelganger.

-A member of (insert favorite death cult here).

-If she'd blow me, we'd split the profits of my book, I Was Blown By a Bald Britney Spears. Come on, you'd read it.

Well, I've tried to put a fresh polish on this turd, but uh...I promise to do better next time.



21 Comments:

Blogger Tracy said...

how fucked up do you have to be to make Federline look like a better parenting alternative?

Those poor, little babies.

With a cum dumpster like that, I think her next career will be starring in a Tiajuana donkey show.

The Uncle Fester reference was hilarious by the way.

Why don't you return my calls you bastard?

Blogger Nick said...

why don't you return my bloody letters, you bastard?

Personally, I think Brit looks smoking hot bald.

Blogger Flounder 2k7 said...

She could star as Ripley in an Alien redux.

Britley!

Blogger Brookelina said...

Hello, my name is Britney, and I will do anything to get the attention and press back that Anna Nicole has stolen from me.

Blogger wmy said...

Yep, go on into court, and ask the judge to give you sole custody...you dumb cockgobbler!

Blogger The Stormin Mormon said...

WOW...

That will go down with the summer that I got my hair frosted as one of the worst ideas EVER.

Blogger Blonde said...

Wonder if anyone has Britney in a Death Pool.

She has lost her mind and running neck and neck with Courtney Love in the who's going to die next race...

Blogger Tracy said...

If you've seen her close up, she looks even more cross-eyed than usual and there appears to be some dented/scarring on the left side of her head. THAT would explain alot.

and WMY,
i hear she's veered AWAY from cockgobbling if you get my drift.

Todd, wipe the drool from your mouth.

Blogger Steph said...

You gotta admit, she does have a nice skull. Right? Right???

Blogger Melissa said...

Her bald definitely trumps the camo green my hair went when I foolishly offered to be a model for a hair show back in the day...

Seriously, I feel really bad for her. I honestly don't think she has any idea how to be a grown-up. Poor kid.

Blogger Übermilf said...

Cockgobbler sounds like a villain from Spiderman or Batman or something.

"Look out! It's the Cockgobbler and she's got hostages!"

Blogger Andi said...

She doesn't have a chin anymore! I'd shave my head too. Oh, wait, I've never had a chin.

Blogger Spinning Girl said...

Wait, she shaved her head?

I also just found out Anna Nicole Smith died.

Blogger Nick said...

Hey, Britney. You polish me off and I'll polish you off!

Blogger Flounder 2k7 said...

Wouldn't Brit look really good right now with a feathered mullet?

Look at all the XX bloggers rushing to bash Britney. Hilarious! Must sting to realize that every man on the planet would rather bang a bald, increasingly insane trailer parker like Britney than any of them. Present company excluded, obviously. You're all hotter. Way hotter.

This comment has been removed by the author.

Blogger Molly said...

yeah, I'd read it...but only because you wrote it dude.

When I woke up to CNN on mute Saturday morning I caught a glimpse of her, and I thought it was Sinead O'Conner for a second.

Blogger Rachel said...

Wait...

bald isn't in?








FUCK!

Blogger Kevin said...

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