Friday, February 09, 2007
Death Wore Random Thoughts
-They don't yet know how Anna Nicole Smith died, but I wouldn't rule out murder at the hands of that crazy diaper-wearing astronaut.

-Speaking of which, the male astronaut who was the subject of the diaper-wearer's obsession? He should be pulling a higher grade of tail, frankly. He's an astronaut, for god's sake! Here's an opening line for you, Romeo: "I've been to outer space. Can I buy you a drink?"

-I don't watch American Idol or Survivor, but if they'd combine the two I'd be a regular viewer. "You didn't hit that high note, so now you have to eat a rat stuffed with other rats."

-I'm really freaked out by John McCain's neck.

-Some people were protesting the other day outside of a Louisville KFC because of that company's cruel treatment of poultry prior to slaughter. I guess the chickens aren't coddled properly before their heads are cut off. Folks, we're talking about chickens here! When all of the people on Earth are taken care of, then we can worry about the god damned chickens.

-It's colder than a penquin's taint outside, but at least I don't live in upstate New York, where it snowed EIGHT FEET in the past few days. Eight INCHES of snow shuts Louisville down; eight feet would kill us all. Well, maybe not all of us, but the living would envy the dead.


15 Comments:

Blogger The Stormin Mormon said...

I had the same thoughts...

Jesus, the guys an astronaut, you think that any woman (and most men) would date him just for the novelty.

Blogger Ćœbermilf said...

Look at the tail Major Nelson used to score!

Blogger Johnny Yen said...

Yeah, WTF is up with that neck? I thought that nobody else noticed.

Ubermilf-
What was it with Tony Nelson? A hot half-naked genie shows up in his life, and all he wants her to do is stay in her bottle? The guy was gay.

Blogger Kate said...

it's been a whacked week for sure.

Blogger miss kendra said...

ubermilf is awesome.

what sort of woman is okay with sitting around in her own poo?

Blogger Crystal said...

I'm naming my next baby Todd. All the Todds I know are brilliant. Why, there's you and ... well, that guy from Different Strokes.

He was funny. And it's the right thing to do.

Major Nelson = J.R. Ewing = the gay former Governor of Florida in the movie Primary Colors. You do the math.

Blogger Tits McGee said...

I love you, Todd.

Blogger Tracy said...

I myself loved Major Healy. That was one astronaut who loved the tang.

Blogger Tracy said...

do they still make tang?

Blogger Andi said...

Holy GOD! You're right on the money about John McCain's neck! Terrifying.

"When all of the people on Earth are taken care of, then we can worry about the god damned chickens."

I like my people in the Colonel's Original Recipe. I've been addicted since childhood. That's because he puts a chemical in his recipe to make me crave it fortnightly. The damn Colonel, with his wee beady eyes.

Blogger Eric Riback said...

KFC is people!
KFC is people!!
KFC is people!!!
KFC is people!!!

Blogger Brookelina said...

Best joke I've heard so far about the astronut-
She drove 900 miles wearing diapers, thus breaking the old record set by Larry King.
-Jay Leno

I'm freaked out by John McCain's ability to turn on his own ideals for political gain.

Blogger Cold Hands said...

"You didn't hit that high note, so now you have to eat a rat stuffed with other rats."

Brilliant my friend.

Post a Comment

<< Home

footer