Tuesday, February 06, 2007
"Room for cream?"

This is an employee at Cowgirls Espresso, a drive-thru coffee shop in Seattle. Since Seattle is the coffee capital of North America, competition is pretty fierce, so a lot of places have taken to hiring bikini-clad hotties to serve their overpriced-yet-so-delicious drinks.

Cowgirls Espresso is the true innovator in the "play up to pervs" category. They have theme days, including Catholic School Girl day, the greatest perv theme of them all!

Way to go, Seattle! First Nirvana, now this! It's like someone combined Starbucks and Hooters. I don't know about you, but even when I lived in Vegas I didn't see girls in bikinis at 6 in the morning. Okay, once; but she was being chased down the street by a group of Elvis impersonators. The police were called, shots were fired...

Believe it or not, this noble experiment has been a rousing success; enough to span a slew of imitators. The website for a place called The Sweet Spot has really set the bar "high" with this picture:





HEY, I went to a locally owned coffee shop this past weekend, and there wasn't any same-sex barista tit grabbing going on! No fair! I wasn't treated to recreational lesbianism. My barista was a granola-eater who tried to talk me into a soy latte and a muffin made from recycled paper. Yeah, they had wi-fi...SO FUCKING WHAT?

Girls in bikinis should provide more essential services as far as I'm concerned. "Do you want fries with that?" she asked as her boobs glistened under the harsh lighting at my neighborhood McDonald's. That would be customer service.

Girls in bikinis should even deliver pizzas. Yes, this would be potentially dangerous, but the pizza company could overcharge for their product and hire bodyguards to protect the women from crazy people. I think I just had a million dollar idea.


25 Comments:

Blogger 5 Hail Marys said...

I think I need to move to Seattle. I thought having cute coffee girls was enough but half naked coffee girls is even better. "Make mine a double tall please. Wait your tits did that."

Blogger miss kendra said...

i think you're going to be rich. unless gene simmons is already on this, and you know he thinks that way.

Blogger Brookelina said...

I thought you said there were bikini-clad barristers. Now that would have really been interesting.

Blogger 6 Our Fathers said...

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Blogger 6 Our Fathers said...

Hmmm. Pretty soon, half naked coffee girls won't be enough - they'll need to be naked and performing cunnilingus on each other in order to impress us enough to pull over.
Well, maybe that's just me.

Blogger The Stormin Mormon said...

Cowgirls Espresso is right by my work. The place is fucking AWESOME!

Blogger Tits McGee said...

Personally, I would worry about burns.

A hair salon opened up not too far from where I live that featured stylists in lingerie. All I could think was, "They'll be covered in hair! How itchy!" They closed within a year.

Blogger Johnny Yen said...

My old friend Jamie was talking about strip bars, and I think quoting some comedian he'd seen on tv-- "It's what gets men to pay $20 for a pitcher of bad beer..."

Blogger Anna said...

hot coffee + bare skin = lawsuit.

Blogger Cazzie!!! said...

Wow, that is a sure fire winner for the coffee shop isn't it?
Not dissimilar to the idea behind what my friend Huggies showed with strippers and car washes here on his blog...
http://thehuggiesfiles.blogspot.com/2007/01/vic-stripper-car-wash-plan-angers.html

Blogger Übermilf said...

Is the coffee served in boob-shaped cups with nipples on the end so people can suckle out their coffee each morning?

I hope that girl's father drives through to get a cup of coffee some day.

Blogger Flounder, P.E. said...

Hold the phone Chuck! I think you are on to something here.

Hooters delivery service!!!

Imagine the business they'd do on a cold, rainy day!

Or it could just be the percocet talking.

Blogger Olga said...

Cowgirls Espresso sounds like a pervert Mecca. I wonder if my college fund accounting professor is there... he could never maintain eye contact with me.

Good post Todd. I think its worth the occasional short and curly in my latte!

Blogger The Stormin Mormon said...

Actually at Cowgirls the clientèle is pretty normal and the girls are really laid back about it. For the most part everyone who goes there is a regular and has just gotten used to it.

That said, you can always tell when someone is new and buying coffee, they react quite differently.

Blogger Cincysundevil said...

This sounds like a great idea for a liquor store in Louisville .....

Blogger Tracy said...

Silly Rabbit,
Tits are for kids.

Blogger Andi said...

Ahhh, yes, I can see it now. A bouncer in every Camry with each bikini-clad delivery lass. You could be a millionaire in about 6 seconds if you put this idea into practice. In fact, the bouncers might even pay *you* to let them work.

Blogger egan said...

It's too bad half the drive-up espresso stands in the city are being burglarized. I give them a year for a variety of reasons, perverts being the biggest issue.

Great, I'm watching Nightline and now they're covering this issue.

Blogger Jon said...

I think this may be the most important business venture ever. We need to live in a world with topless baristas, otherwise the terrorists have already won.

God bless America.

Blogger Cold Hands said...

we have been kicking around an idea for a topless/bikini clad lawn business for some time now, but it is so much easier to just pop the top on another beer and talk about these things. Doing them takes effort. I don't like things that take effort.

Blogger wmy said...

Oh wait...go one step further, hire lactating mommies with really ginormous tits...then the place wouldn't even have to pay for milk...would you like one squeeze or two sir?!?!?

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I think wmy has the best idea! I can see a chain of "MILF and COOKIES" franchises spreading from coast to coast!

Blogger Jillian said...

That is my goal for when I graduate law school - to be a bikini clad barrister. I think that I could definately get some Law and Order-esque confessions on the stand if the witness/murderer is staring at my scantily clad boobies the entire time...

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