Thursday, April 05, 2007
Ask me anything, Again.
I'll admit it, I have nothing. Can't you tell from the past three posts that I have absolutely nothing to write about?

So, ask me a question. All of you, even you lurkers. What do want to know about me or the universe in general? I've done this before and it was a lot of fun. I don't have as many readers now, but this still could be interesting.

I'll answer your questions in the comments.

Thanks in advance for your begrudging participation.


67 Comments:

Blogger Hulkster said...

1. What is your shoe size?

2. Cake or death?

3. How many hobos have you murdered?

Blogger yournamehere said...

hulkster,
shoe size: fourteen

cake or death? Death. No, I'll have cake...

They were already dead inside.

Blogger katarina said...

Would you ever consider moving again?

Blogger yournamehere said...

kat,
not for a few years. I'm moved out, and I like Louisville.

Blogger mess said...

I think you should move to Australia.

Your sarcastic style is our national dish.

You can serve it 24/7 and get along just fine.

Tom
PS so, when are you coming over?

Blogger DDL said...

I've already asked if I could have your baby. I'm thinking I was totally rejected.

Blogger la dolce said...

Who is your favorite person ever who used to live in Vegas but now lives in Seattle!?

Blogger yournamehere said...

mess asks "When are you coming to Australia?"

I'd like to visit someday. Aren't Australian girls just total babes?

Blogger yournamehere said...

ddl says "I've already asked if I could have your baby. I'm thinking I was totally rejected."

Oh, no you weren't. Let's start making those babies, babe.

Blogger yournamehere said...

la dolce asks "Who is your favorite person ever who used to live in Vegas but now lives in Seattle?"

Well, the answer is obvious: Ralph Messinger, who used to clean the shitters at Sunset Station, but moved to Seattle in 2005.

Not really. It's you, silly. I hope you're having a great time in Seattle!

Blogger MLE said...

1. With whom was the best kiss you ever experienced?

2. If you could pick one food to eat for the rest of your life, and only that one food, what would it be?

3. What have I got in my pocket?

Blogger Tracy said...

Are you the one secretly voting for Sanjaya?

Have you ever had a reach-around in the produce section at the Krogers - giggity!

What is the most disgusting thing you've ever seen.

Blogger Princess Pointful said...

Most embarassing moment.

Bacon or sausage?

Favourite movie.

What would you do if you won ten million dollars tomorrow?

Blogger Übermilf said...

I have more of a statement:

I hate Elton John.

Blogger Brookelina said...

How come you don't have as many readers as you used to?

Blogger Steph said...

Where is my pink sock? The one with the silver stars on it. Kthanxbye.

Blogger Jo said...

If I were only 3hrs and 49mins away from you and I was starving to death, would you come and take me to Sonic?

Blogger Flounder said...

Ginger or Mary Ann?

Levi's or Wrangler's?

Coke or Pepsi?

David Lee or Sammy?

Blogger Nick said...

How gay is it when you call people "silly"?

If I were one of those pretentious assholes that answered his own questions I would say: Gayer than flounder but not quite as gay as Liberace.

Blogger Crystal said...

is it ok if i coat my body in canola oil and roll around naked in your intestines after i disembowel you?

Blogger Diedre said...

Why does Crystal scare me?

Blogger Diedre said...

and why does Elton John just freak me out?

Blogger Anathema said...

You just lost your hand while working on a farm in a horrible accident with a wheat thresher, is Jessica Alba still the hottest woman alive?

Blogger Übermilf said...

Why doesn't Flounder visit my blog anymore? Or update his OWN blog anymore?

Flounder face, I love you.
Flounder face, I need you.
Where is my flounder face?

Blogger yournamehere said...

mle asks
"With whom was the best kiss you ever experienced?"
A few years I went on a date with a girl I met on match.com. Our first kiss, at the end of the date, was AMAZING. I only had one more date with her, I really didn't have strong feelings for her at all, but she was the best kisser ever.

"If you could pick one food to eat for the rest of your life, and only that one food, what would it be?"
It would be pizza from Impellizeri's. It's that good.

"What have I got in my pocket?"
Since your pants are on fire, I'm hoping it's an extinguisher.

Blogger yournamehere said...

Tracy asks "Are you the one secretly voting for Sanjaya?"

Is that the gay kid who can't sing who's on American Idol? Is he any worse than Clay Aiken or Taylor Hicks?

"Have you ever had a reach-around in the produce section at the Krogers - giggity!"
No, but I got a handjob at Winn-Dixie.

"What is the most disgusting thing you've ever seen?"
The Godzilla remake from the late nineties.

Blogger yournamehere said...

Princess pointful asks "Most embarassing moment?"
In high school I had to show up every day, even though I was fat and socially awkward.

"Bacon or sausage?"
It depends. Bacon by itself, but Italian sausage made on the premises is perfect on pizza.

"What would you do if you won ten million dollars tomorrow?"
Quit my job, buy a condo here in Louisville and one on or near the Vegas strip. Buy my mom a winter home in the warm climate of her choice. New car. A celebratory meal at an expensive restaurant.

Blogger yournamehere said...

ubermilf says, rather than asks, "I hate Elton John."
Goodbye Yellow Brick Road is pretty good.

Blogger yournamehere said...

Brooke rather cruelly asks "How come you don't have as many readers as you used to?"

I'm trying to think of way to blame you, Brooke, but I can't. I guess because I'm out of ideas and my blog isn't as good as it used to be.

Blogger yournamehere said...

Steph asks "Where is my pink sock? The one with the silver stars on it?"
Well, the Urban Dictionary defines Pink Sock thusly:
Slang term for prolapse rectum, or anal prolapse, a medical condition in which the colon is turned inside out and may protude out the anus.
I hope that isn't what you're talking about.

Blogger yournamehere said...

jo asks "If I were only 3hrs and 49mins away from you and I was starving to death, would you come and take me to Sonic?"
Sure, but there would have to be something in it for me. And by "something" I mean "sex".

Blogger yournamehere said...

flounder asks

"Ginger or Mary Ann?"
Mary Ann. Have you had her coconut creme pie?

"Levi's or Wrangler's?"
Neither, really. I like Old Navy for jeans.

"Coke or Pepsi?"
Coke. Pepsi is swill.

"David Lee or Sammy?"
David Lee.

Blogger yournamehere said...

Nick asks "How gay is it when you call people 'silly'?"
It depends. If you take your lips off of a cock and call someone silly, that's pretty gay.

Blogger yournamehere said...

crystal asks "is it ok if i coat my body in canola oil and roll around naked in your intestines after i disembowel you?"
Hell yes. My insides are gonna score.

Blogger yournamehere said...

diedre asks "Why does Crystal scare me?"
Because she's insane.

"Why does Elton John freak me out?"
Because he dresses like Elton John.

Blogger yournamehere said...

ubermilf asks "Why doesn't Flounder visit my blog anymore? Or update his OWN blog anymore?"
Only Flounder knows that answer.

I think I'm going to go around and call out people who don't visit this blog anymore.

Blogger miss kendra said...

have you missed me?

will you be thrilled when i return to work on monday?

Blogger Tracy said...

Thanks, now i have Goodbye Yellow Brick Road stuck in my head.

Blogger yournamehere said...

kendra asks "Have you missed me?"
Yes, of course I've missed you.

"will you be thrilled when i return to work on monday?"
I hate to see anyone have to go back to work, but I will be thrilled to chat with you again.

Blogger Kate said...

wow i'm impressed with all the questions our blogreaders have left. i'm kinda jealous.

so my questions are... what's your real first name? how old are you? and if you could have any super power, which one would you choose?

Blogger Tits McGee said...

Why aren't you making out with me right now?

Blogger Ms Smack said...

When you come to Australia, will you sleep with me?

Blogger Melissa said...

Ask you anything, huh?

Why do I only get groped by dirty old men?

On a similar note, am I the only person in the world who's had a midgets hunch my kneecaps?

And is it weird that I like French fries but hate tater tots?

Blogger Nick said...

If you can buy jeans at old navy you are not fat.

Blogger yournamehere said...

kate asks "What is your real first name?"
Todd. That's what they call me, anyway.

"How old are you?"
Honey, I'm not only over the hill, I'm down in the valley.

"if you could have any super power, which one would you choose?"
I would choose the power to magically seduce women. If I ever get that power I'm coming to see you.

Blogger yournamehere said...

Tits McGee asks "Why aren't you making out with me right now?"
Well, probably because God doesn't want me to experience that much joy.

Blogger yournamehere said...

ms. smack asks "When you come to Australia, will you sleep with me?"
YES. YES. YES. If I had the money I'd fly down next weekend.

Blogger yournamehere said...

Melissa asks "Ask you anything, huh?"
Yes. That's the title of this post.

"Why do I only get groped by dirty old men?"
Because by the time I try to grope you it will seem far less objectionable.

"am I the only person in the world who's had a midget hunch my kneecaps?"
No, I used to go to a bar that employed a midget. There was much knee humping as the night progressed.

"is it weird that I like French fries but hate tater tots?"
No, they are indeed two separate food entities. I find tater tots delicious, but far be it from me to question the tastes of a woman I plan to grope in the near future.

Blogger yournamehere said...

nick states "If you can buy jeans at Old Navy you are not fat."
Well, I wish that were true. I buy my jeans online, where they have some extended sizes. Even if I lost weight I'd have to, because they wouldn't be long enough.

Blogger Sysm said...

I have pulp in my urine. Is that normal?

Blogger yournamehere said...

sysm asks "I have pulp in my urine. Is that normal?"
It is if you eat a lot of tree bark.

For the love of Christ, why won't you tell the story we got from Will Bird? It is the funniest God Damned story in history, and you continue to deprive us of it.

Blogger rhiann carnated said...

why don't you allow anonymous comments. I hate signing in.

Also, what's so great about Louisville? and why did you move from Vegas?

Blogger KeithAlanK said...

Is there anything in life that can't be made better by adding gravy or hushpuppies, and if so, what is it and why?

Cottonmouths: Shoot, chop or use a rock? (Sorry, flamethrowers aren't an option)

Your .22 rifle: Single shot, bolt action or semi-auto?
Bonus points for having an "Ultimate" 10/22 or knowing what that is.
Thanks, Zzakk

Blogger katrocket said...

If I made you an honourary lesbian for the day, would you show me your tits?

Blogger Ms Smack said...

I LOVE YOUR COMMENTERS!

Blogger The Mortgage Chick said...

So all those missing socks over the years are in my prolapsed intestine? I'm not sure how I feel about that.

Blogger DogGirl said...

So all those missing socks are in my prolapsed intestine? I'm not sure how I feel about that yet.

Blogger yournamehere said...

vast asks "For the love of Christ, why don't you tell the story we got from Will Bird?"
I will one of these days.

Blogger yournamehere said...

Rhian Carnated asks "why don't you allow anonymous comments?"
Because a lot of anonymous commentors are gutless cowards. If someone wants to take a swipe at me they're going to have to take the time to create a google account first.

"What's so great about Louisville?"
I'm not a member of the Chamber of Commerce. I'm here because most of my friends and family are here. The four a.m. bar closing time is a plus, though.

"Why did you leave Las Vegas?"
Read my blog when it was called viva las vegass. It's basically a written account of my descent into madness.

Blogger yournamehere said...

"Is there anything in life that can't be made better by adding gravy or hushpuppies, and if so, what is it and why?"
I knew a girl who gave great blowjobs, but when I tried to eat hushpuppies while she was blowing me, she took great offense. That is the only instance I know of.

"Cottonmouths: Shoot, chop or use a rock?"
There aren't any cottonmouths in Louisville, but I asked my cousin from the mountains and he said "Rock".

"Your .22 rifle: Single shot, bolt action or semi-auto?"
I don't own a gun. The cousin says "semi-auto."

Blogger yournamehere said...

"If I made you an honourary lesbian for the day, would you show me your tits?"
As an honourary lesbian, would I get to make out with you and engage in other, more graphic lesbianic activities? If so, then yes.

Blogger yournamehere said...

ms smack says "I love your commenters."
Me too, but you're the one who offered sex when I visit Australia, so you are the commenter of the week.

Blogger yournamehere said...

The Mortgage Chick and doggirl ask essentially the same question, so I'm assuming they're both the same person, who is hot, by the way...
"So all those missing socks over the years are in my prolapsed intestine?"
Yes. I would be happy to help you retrieve them.

Blogger Spinning Girl said...

If you could be born again as any living thing, what would it be and why?

Do you ever think about my nipples?How about now?

Finally, canned vegetables: discuss.

Blogger Spinning Girl said...

p.s. Fill in the blank:

If I could just have one more ___ .

Blogger yournamehere said...

spinning girl asks "If you could be born again as any living thing, what would it be and why?"
I'd want to be your next boyfriend. Don't worry, I'll be much better looking than I am now.

"Do you ever think about my nipples?How about now?"
There's a wing of my oceanside mansion dedicated to folk-art renderings of your nipples.

"canned vegetables: discuss."
An utter abomination. End of discussion.

"Fill in the blank: If I could have just one more______"
Ronco cordless ashtray.

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