Wednesday, February 11, 2009
My Old Kentucky Horseshit
The Kentucky House of Representatives just voted to raise taxes on alcohol. I have a problem with this, and it isn't because I'm a drunk who doesn't make a lot of money. No, really it isn't.

For those of you from real states, let me explain Kentucky's alcohol situation to you. Despite producing the vast majority of bourbon sold worldwide, many of the state's counties are "dry", meaning alcohol cannot be sold there. Not surprisingly, these counties are lousy with bootleggers and moonshine producers, but hillbillies get to feel good about themselves for not officially selling the demon elixir.

My problem with all of this is that state congressmen from dry counties are allowed to vote to raise taxes on a product they won't allow to be sold in their backyard. And of course they're more than happy to generate revenue for their predominately poor, backwards areas by taxing the bejeebus out of us "big city" drunkards. Well, fuck them with an empty bourbon bottle. And it's empty because I drank it, you moralizing shit stains.

One of two things need to happen soon:

-Revenue generated by any alcohol tax should only be used in counties that sell alcohol and therefore COLLECT THE FUCKING TAX! If alcohol is so evil you can't even lower yourselves to sell it, then you don't get the money, Gomer.

-Or even better, the state should take away the privilege of letting counties go "dry". It isn't a right to be allowed to prohibit the sale of a perfectly legal product. Lottery tickets are sold in every county in Kentucky, so why not alcohol? Prohibition was a tragic failure on a national level and it's stupid and pointless on a county level. All it does is encourage a bunch of inbred Al Capones to break the law.

In the meantime, when the tax increase is passed and I have to listen to a bunch of customers bitch about it, I hope those temperance movement assholes are pleased with themselves.


10 Comments:

Blogger Alison said...

"If alcohol is so evil you can't even lower yourselves to sell it, then you don't get the money, Gomer."

Hallelujah. *waves hello from Fayette County*

Blogger Burfica said...

It's as bad as what we call "mormon beer" Cuz they will let beer be sold in utah but it has to have a much lower alcohol in it.

Try peddling that line of horse crap in Middlesboro mister. Those baptists will eat you alive.

Blogger Beaker said...

We have dry counties in Texas also and what they want to do is instead of raising the tax, they want to allow liquor stores to be open on Sunday. They say its not fair to let the grocery stores and place like Target and Wal-Mart sell wine and beer on Sundays, but not to let liquor stores sell their wares. It seems like no one is really comlaining about this except for.....get this....the liquor store owners. They say they don't want to be open on Sunday, that it's not cost effective, that Sunday is the day they stay home and do family stuff. You know what they were told? They were told that just because they are allowed to be open on Sunday doesn't mean they are forced to be open. If they don't want to pay their employees to work on Sunday, they don't have to open the store if they don't want to. They're still complaining.

Could it be? That post sounds like it was written by a fiscal conservative. Good to hear you are against ridiculous tax increases like that. It's never right to punish those that produce with higher taxes and give it to the undeserving. Never. That's been my argument all along.

Blogger Scarlet Hip said...

I thought this post sounded like it was written by an angry drunk. Do they sound the same as fiscal conservatives?

Blogger foundinidaho said...

Todd, you must admit, you and I are one with VRWC on this.

It is absolutely asinine to police people's morals in this way.

However, I submit to you that what you're going through isn't any worse than living in the great state of Utah and having the Mormon Church run your damn life, much less your liquor store.

Asshats.

Blogger Ćœbermilf said...

Why don't you fix yourself a nice drink and calm down.

Blogger Miss Pants said...

How fucking annoying.

I've learned all about LAME liquor laws since moving to Utah. They act like they're saving the world by taxing the shit out of/making it difficult to buy liquor (state liquor stores with LAME hours) but all they're doing is making those of us who drink MORE determined to drink just to fucking piss them off. Also, to drive home with a full trunk of booze every time we leave this godforsaken stupid state.

Blogger Madam Z said...

Amen, Brother!

I agree with everything you say and I love the way you say it!

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