A few nights ago it snowed. Then there was an ice storm. Then it rained. Then the rain froze. Then it snowed again. Drainage grates froze over, causing flash flooding. I've changed to a picture of a gas station in town trying to charge $6.89 for a gallon of gas. Nice. I'd like to cordially invite the owner of the station to suck all of our dicks. Ladies and all folks who are otherwise dickless, please don extra-veiny strap-ons so the owner can suck those, too.
Thankfully, after a call from the Attorney General's office, they lowered the price to a competitive $1.89. Thanks to these guys for the info.
The weight of all of that ice and snow caused tree branches and power lines to snap, putting about two hundred thousand people in the Louisville area without power.
Will this cause our power and gas monopoly to join the 21st century and put power lines underground? Of course not, because all they can do is collect money; they can't be bothered to spend it. Fuck them with John Dillinger's formaldehyde-preserved cock.
And while I'm ranting, fuck the city's half-assed snow and ice removal efforts. I just looked out the window and saw a plow go down my street. Good, right? No, it pushed the snow to the side of the road, trapping us all in our driveways, while leaving a dangerous layer of ice on the road. Thanks a fucking lot, city.
I don't ask for much, but will someone please give me two million dollars? I figure a million will get me a one bedroom condo in San Diego, and I can live on the other million. I can live there sometimes, live here sometimes, and crash for long periods at my brother's house, drinking all of his Fat Tire beer and putting a horrible strain on his marriage. Ummmm....freeloading.