Okay, I went to a strip club Saturday night. However, in my defense, THERE WERE NAKED GIRLS THERE!
I was sitting at a table when a young "club employee" sat down next to me. I thought she was going to ask me to spend lots of money on her. Instead she just started talking like a stripper all hopped up on uppers. Some of her memorable quotes:
-"I hate it when a guy farts while sitting at my stage, because hey...I'm the one with her asshole showing. Who do you think everyone's going to blame for the smell?"
-(Grabs another stripper's tit) "That never gets old."
-"Strippers love candy. The next time you come here, fill your pants with candy. Strippers will take the candy right out of your pants."
-"I really hate guys who wear Ed Hardy. They're always dicks."
This may have been the gem of the evening:
-"I still like watching the other girls take their clothes off every night, even though...you know...I show my pussy for a living."
Sure, Bill Clinton made it possible to be both liberal and a boob enthusiast, but the feeling that there's a touchy uncle in this girl's past is very troubling to me.
I was sitting at a table when a young "club employee" sat down next to me. I thought she was going to ask me to spend lots of money on her. Instead she just started talking like a stripper all hopped up on uppers. Some of her memorable quotes:
-"I hate it when a guy farts while sitting at my stage, because hey...I'm the one with her asshole showing. Who do you think everyone's going to blame for the smell?"
-(Grabs another stripper's tit) "That never gets old."
-"Strippers love candy. The next time you come here, fill your pants with candy. Strippers will take the candy right out of your pants."
-"I really hate guys who wear Ed Hardy. They're always dicks."
This may have been the gem of the evening:
-"I still like watching the other girls take their clothes off every night, even though...you know...I show my pussy for a living."
Sure, Bill Clinton made it possible to be both liberal and a boob enthusiast, but the feeling that there's a touchy uncle in this girl's past is very troubling to me.
7 Comments:
I don't know about the other stuff, but I'm totally with the stripper on the whole Ed Hardy thing.
You make me almost want to go to a titty bar tonight.
I think you've found a new calling. You could be a therapist for strippers.
There is never a dull moment in your life.
Touchy Uncle? I bet Uncle did a lot more that touch.
I learned a lot from this post.
I always enjoy a good strip club story!
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