Dear Reader(s) of viva las vegASS:
I've come to the conclusion that I don't waste enough of your time. Sure, you spend a few minutes reading my insignificant ramblings and a few of you even take the time to add pithy comments. I appreciate that, but I want to bother you more often; without actually having to write more stuff, of course. That's why I'm offering this list of things I like and you should like, too. If you watch a movie or listen to a CD that I've recommended, it's kind of like you're doing my bidding. In a sense, I own you during that time. Keep reading and kindly submit to my will.
Music
The Primitives - Lovely - From 19 "back in the day" 88, this timeless classic is a must-own for fans of catchy girlie-vocal power pop. If you don't smile while this CD plays you are one joyless bastard. Be warned, the words are brainless, so if you want lyrical depth go elsewhere. Also, avoid at all costs the dreaded MEDIOCRE FOLLOW-UP, Pure.
Belly - Entire Catalogue- I've mentioned this band before. Buy everything they ever recorded. The b-sides are as good or better than anything that made it to the official releases.
The Breeders - Pod - Only thirty minutes long, you must listen to this from start to finish all in one sitting to fully appreciate its brilliance. If I was forced to listen to the same CD every day for the rest of my life I'd pick this one.
Shipping News - Flies the Field - This is my latest CD purchase and I listen to it a lot. Their 2001 release Very Soon, and In Pleasant Company is also excellent. If your town doesn't have a decent indie record store, you can buy these online at www.quarterstickrecords.com.
Burgers
California, Arizona, Nevada: In-n-Out
Midwest, Southeast, etc: Steak-n-Shake
Neither where you live: Buy a grill.
Movies
Despite being made way back in 1979, Being There may be more timely today than it was when first released. Comic genius Peter Sellers plays a gardner named Chaunce, who despite being simple-minded and functionally illiterate becomes an unofficial presidential adviser. I won't give away any more than that, but it has to be seen to be believed.
Beer
Beer is the unquestioned nectar of the gods. To drink mass-produced, watered- down domestic swill is to deliberately anger those gods. Imports, kids. Microbrews, y'all.
Television
Most of the TV shows I've liked (Simpsons, Seinfeld, Family Guy) are widely available on DVD
with the inexplicable exception of WKRP in Cincinatti. Release it, damn you! I really liked a show on Louisville cable public access called Bearded Clambake, but it's long gone and will never return. If anyone from Louisville has episodes on tape, please let me know.
Pizza
The golden rule involving the world's perfect food is never order from a big chain unless geographical circumstances dictate. Las Vegas has a lot of pizza places, most of them shit-all terrible, but I finally found one I like. Most towns have at least one independently owned and operated pizza joint. Find it, patronize it, and be happier. Life is too short to eat cheese-covered cardboard.
My taste is impecible. Trust me.
I've come to the conclusion that I don't waste enough of your time. Sure, you spend a few minutes reading my insignificant ramblings and a few of you even take the time to add pithy comments. I appreciate that, but I want to bother you more often; without actually having to write more stuff, of course. That's why I'm offering this list of things I like and you should like, too. If you watch a movie or listen to a CD that I've recommended, it's kind of like you're doing my bidding. In a sense, I own you during that time. Keep reading and kindly submit to my will.
Music
The Primitives - Lovely - From 19 "back in the day" 88, this timeless classic is a must-own for fans of catchy girlie-vocal power pop. If you don't smile while this CD plays you are one joyless bastard. Be warned, the words are brainless, so if you want lyrical depth go elsewhere. Also, avoid at all costs the dreaded MEDIOCRE FOLLOW-UP, Pure.
Belly - Entire Catalogue- I've mentioned this band before. Buy everything they ever recorded. The b-sides are as good or better than anything that made it to the official releases.
The Breeders - Pod - Only thirty minutes long, you must listen to this from start to finish all in one sitting to fully appreciate its brilliance. If I was forced to listen to the same CD every day for the rest of my life I'd pick this one.
Shipping News - Flies the Field - This is my latest CD purchase and I listen to it a lot. Their 2001 release Very Soon, and In Pleasant Company is also excellent. If your town doesn't have a decent indie record store, you can buy these online at www.quarterstickrecords.com.
Burgers
California, Arizona, Nevada: In-n-Out
Midwest, Southeast, etc: Steak-n-Shake
Neither where you live: Buy a grill.
Movies
Despite being made way back in 1979, Being There may be more timely today than it was when first released. Comic genius Peter Sellers plays a gardner named Chaunce, who despite being simple-minded and functionally illiterate becomes an unofficial presidential adviser. I won't give away any more than that, but it has to be seen to be believed.
Beer
Beer is the unquestioned nectar of the gods. To drink mass-produced, watered- down domestic swill is to deliberately anger those gods. Imports, kids. Microbrews, y'all.
Television
Most of the TV shows I've liked (Simpsons, Seinfeld, Family Guy) are widely available on DVD
with the inexplicable exception of WKRP in Cincinatti. Release it, damn you! I really liked a show on Louisville cable public access called Bearded Clambake, but it's long gone and will never return. If anyone from Louisville has episodes on tape, please let me know.
Pizza
The golden rule involving the world's perfect food is never order from a big chain unless geographical circumstances dictate. Las Vegas has a lot of pizza places, most of them shit-all terrible, but I finally found one I like. Most towns have at least one independently owned and operated pizza joint. Find it, patronize it, and be happier. Life is too short to eat cheese-covered cardboard.
My taste is impecible. Trust me.
9 Comments:
My spelling sucks, and I could use spell check but for some reason don't. Probably because I know the sure way to get bikipatra to comment is to make a mistake of some sort.
If you use spellcheck, you will be doing bikipatra's bidding, and that's just inconceivable. ;)
You need to list some of the better brands of beer for those of us that aren't beer drinkers. I always drink Miller Light.
Hahahaaaa--I've read, and still had the strength to not submit to you! You had me 100% on the beer and pizza, but then lost me on burgers, movies and music. And I don't think I've watched anything but reruns in over a year. Most everything new these days is total crap.
And you're relatively close to jo-anne down there. You need to take care of her with that beer thing.
Your thoughts on herbal tea, M'Lord?
Herbal tea? Only if I can drink it from your hollowed-out skull.
Damn, that was harsh. Kidding, obviously.
Osbasso,
I didn't expect you to like the Breeders or Belly, but In-n-Out Burger is another story. They're only in California, Arizona or Nevada but if you're ever stuck in one of those states order a double-double with grilled onions and prepare to write me a thank you.
You can hollow out my skull any old time; I clearly never use it.
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