Thursday, May 05, 2005
Stealing Ideas Can Be Fun
Note: I'm posting more than usual today because my mom's coming to town tomorrow and I might be too busy playing travel guide the next couple of days to get to this thing.

Fifteen Things About Me

Several bloggers have done this little exercise in self-revelation, so since this is my day to rip people off, here goes nothing.

1. Somehow, I'm an honorary Kentucky Colonel, complete with ID card. I tell people the card entitles me to 15% off at participating KFC's.

2. My all-time favorite half-hour of television is the "I thought turkeys could fly" episode of WKRP in Cincinatti.

3. My parents divorced when I was in utero (Please, no Nirvana jokes).

4. Sadly, my milkshake does NOT bring the girls to the yard.

5. I can't say or type the word "butt-fuck" without giggling.

6. I never had to clip my toenails till I reached my early twenties.

7. When I got my tonsils out the doctor promised me all the ice cream I could eat but all I got was a single serving cup of that dreaded culinary abortion, ice milk. But then my first grade teacher brought me a box of plastic army men, so all was well.

8. I don't mean to, but I frighten small children.

9. I've never seen a complete episode of any of the Star Trek series.

10. I'm not a big fan of the Beatles.

11. I saw Star Wars for the first time the day Elvis died. Coincidentally, my childlike belief in the healing power of cinema died the day I saw Phantom Menace.

12. I'm allergic to trees and grass.

13. In 1994, at Bogart's in Cincinatti, I tried to sneak backstage before a show featuring Hole and Veruca Salt by telling a bouncer I was president of the Veruca Salt Fan Club, Louisville chapter. The man's reply: "You must be a very lonely dude."

14. I played little league baseball at age seven and won all of my games because I was the only kid in the league who could throw the ball over the plate. I only played one year and retired undefeated. I couldn't hit or field, though. A designated hitter batted for me and when a pop-up was hit to the infield I was instructed to run in the opposite direction so someone else could make the play.

15. I've been physically threatened by a midget.


Blogger n.v. said...

Mr Yournameishere, I am so enamored by your writing. More, please! Forget your mother.

The milkshake line was hilarious. I sprayed tea all over my laptop.

Blogger bikipatra said...

I have seen a full Star Trek episode but never of my own free will.

Blogger Osbasso said...

"Oh, the humanity....."

Blogger n.v. said...

Bikipatra, I knew I liked you for a reason. William Shatner is disgustingness personified.

"Must . . . communicate . . . to Spock."

Blogger n.v. said...

Shatner's Canadian, right? I take back what I said about him. You know one reason I can't stand to look at him? It's so subliminal, but he was the mold for the mask in Halloween! He is Michael Myers' face!!!

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