Saturday, May 07, 2005
WARNING: GUEST POST
While yournamehere is playing bingo with his mom or whatever, he asked me to fill in and give his three readers an actual Vegas story, not his usual crap. That whiny ass. Have you read that shit? I don't like a comic strip, I don't like bums, I don't like bumper stickers. SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Yourname tried to get me added as a guest but he's stupid and the Commodore computer he uses wouldn't let him so he gave me his passwords and shit. I looked through his email and what a loser. Just russian girls wanting to marry him. He probably will marry one, fucking commie. So I'm writing under his weak ass name yournamehere haha how funny. My user name is pimproller if he can ever get it together.

A Real Vegas Story not girlie shit by pimproller. What?


Last Saturday I was at Tabu, you know the ultra lounge at MGM. I know a guy who bangs the doorman's sister, so I always roll VIP muthafucker! I shove my way past a bunch of tourists. I think Vegas could do okay without tourists, you know? They're all "Hey, we're in line" like I give one. I go up to Mike the doorman and I'm all "Hey, is that albino son of a bitch still plowing your sister?" and he pretends not to hear me, cocksucker. So while some blonde with fake tits is bouncing up and down for him I just walk in. Sneaking in is something yournamehere writes about but I do the shit. That walking building couldn't sneak into shit. Unless he rolls with me, Willie Jeff Clinton style since back in the day, his ass waits in line. He'll have to wait in line at his own wedding to soviet union bitch.

An hour later I'm talking to fake tits, the bitch who got me into the place even though she didn't know it at the time. I bought her a long island and I pretend to listen to something, sick mother, favorite hat, whatever. I'm condo-sitting for my cousin while he's in jail for selling crack to school kids in North Las Vegas so I say to her we move the party there. This condo is tight as shit. Jacuzzi, you can see the Strip, there's an In-n-Out down the way. She stops talking about her shit long enough to say yes so we get in my Jeep and head out.

I knew my cousin would have stash so before long I'm snorting a line or three of his choicest off the flesh mountains of blondie. This wasn't the crack he got caught selling to roundthaway girls, this was good shit and tits just made it better.

After I rocked this chicks world I went to sleep on the couch. She was a bed hog, all over on my side acting like I'd remember her name in the morning. I kind of told her to leave but didn't really say get out, and she was too dumb to take a hint.

I woke up the next morning and that bitch whore cunt had took my wallet. None of the credit cards were mine so charge it up slut. Get pussy cancer, trick ass.

Well, that's the real deal. Maybe I'll come back when yourname is at a wuss convention in Utah or standing in line to get some balls or shoving food down his fat cakehole. For now it's back to more shit about his boring ass life...I got drunk in Looeyvul Kentucky five years ago I'm so wild. I should put my foot up his ass and write about that. He says I'm no good at writing and he's always talking about some shit called harvard commas, but while he was learning that shit I was getting me some pussy.


5 Comments:

Blogger yournamehere said...

I would like to apologise for this post, particuarly the line "Get pussy cancer, trick ass." I shouldn't have given my roommate my password. Won't happen again.

Anonymous pimproller said...

Fuck you dickface. I'll start my own blog and call it MY ROOMMATE IS A FUCKING LOSER and write about how you never get any pussy.

Blogger n.v. said...

I'm not feeling this post.

Blogger yournamehere said...

You may ask why pimproller tries so hard to sound street wise and fails miserably? Well, for one he's stupid; and he's from Anaheim. His dad is an entertainment lawyer and he grew up two miles from Disneyland. The only 'ho pimproller ever turned out was Minnie Mouse.
He will never darken this site again.

Blogger n.v. said...

It's your blog, man. Rule how you see fit.

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