Tuesday, July 29, 2008
I kept my mouth shut for once
People love to be told they look like celebrities, right? Well, that depends on the celebrity. Tell a woman she looks like Scarlet Johansson and it's a compliment; tell her she looks like Joan Rivers and prepare to defend the ol' ballbag.

The passage of time also changes things. Comparing a lady's body to Kirstie Alley's was fine in 1992, whereas now it's the verbal equivalent of going Ike Turner on her skull. In 1999, "You look like Britney Spears" meant "Even though you are of age, you remind me of hot jailbait." Now it means "You're an unfit mother with a misshapen vagina."

So, I think I made the right choice today. I really wanted to walk up to this customer and say, "You look just like the guy who raped Tim Robbins in The Shawshank Redemption," because he did, he looked just like him. I don't think it was ever cool to look like that dude, however, so I didn't say a word.


11 Comments:

Blogger Scarlet Hip said...

Wait a minute, you aren't the guy who chased me around the bar in Queensland back in '92 screaming "KIRSTIEEEEEEEEEEE!!", are you?

Cause that would just be a freakish coincidence.

You probably did do the right thing. Tim Robbins....There's a world class douchebag.

Blogger Übermilf said...

You look JUST LIKE Stewie from "Family Guy"

Blogger Dale said...

If you had, you would have given new meaning to 'if looks could kill'.

Blogger FRITZ said...

People tell me I look like a cross between a fat Tori Spelling and a fat Reese Witherspoon.

I think it's a good thing you kept your mouth shut.

Blogger lostinutah said...

I love Tim Robbins, and yes, you should never tell anyone that he looks like someone who raped Tim in a movie.

Good call.

Blogger John said...

He probably would have put you in a wheelchair and made you take your meals through a straw for the rest of your life.

Blogger Ian McGibboney said...

I've told girls (girlfriends or close friends, not strangers) on several occasions that they look like some of the most beautiful celebrities on the world. And they'd think it was an insult! "Ewww! Drew Barrymore's weird-looking!" I mean, come on.

Blogger Tits McGee said...

I told a guy the other day that he looked just like Avon Barksdale from The Wire, because he did, but he had never seen The Wire, and I'm pretty sure he thought I was weird.

He was pretty.

Blogger 新年快樂 said...
Blogger 新年快樂 said...

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