Thursday, July 24, 2008
Let's get our thumbs out of our asses, shall we?

Hey, gas around here went down to $3.95 a gallon yesterday! Fucks yeah! Well, as Mr. Wolf said in Pulp Fiction, "Let's not start sucking each other's dicks just yet." That's still about a dollar higher than it was this time last year, and still god damned expensive. Oh, and as I write this it probably just jumped back up to $4.19.

As a short-term solution, we need to do a better job of finding oil here in the United States. It's arrogant to think the world owes us oil, and it's fucking stupid to rely on oil from people who hate our guts.

As a child, you were smart enough not to let your worst enemy from elementary school make lunch for you. Why? Because you didn't want to eat one of his turds between two slices of wonder bread, that's why. But our entire economy is dependent upon those who want us dead. That's a crazy way to live, and we're paying for it in more than just dollars.

In the long term, I don't believe it's wise to dig up all of America trolling for oil. There are environmental concerns as well as the simple fact that this country isn't as oil-rich as Saudi Arabia. Our oil will run out, and what will we do then?

Frankly, that's for smarter people to decide, but we need to invest in alternative sources of energy. For instance, I lived in Las Vegas and it's ridiculous that solar power isn't greatly utilized in that town.

We need a Bill Gates of alternative energy to step forward, someone who'll find a way to make a shitload of money off of it, because that's the only reason anyone will ever give a fuck. As a by-product of "new energy", scores of jobs will be created, jobs that can't be outsourced so a CEO can make an extra five dollars.

Or we could just invent a car that runs on the methane gas provided by farting cattle. Either way.


19 Comments:

Blogger flounder said...

Holy shit, we agree on something!

My sentiments exactly.

Blogger Übermilf said...

Two men enter! One man leaves! Two men enter! One man leaves!

Blogger Übermilf said...

(that's because of the methane thing)

I'm willing to fart into gas tanks if I get paid enough.

Blogger Tits McGee said...

The economy sucks. People need jobs. The country needs energy independence, meaning the country needs to invest in clean, renewable energy sources. This investment will result in new jobs, which will in turn stimulate the economy.

I hate everyone in Washington. If Obama can't fix this shit, I'm moving to Canada.

In the meantime, I'll just to go on not driving a car and using my feet and public transportation to get around instead.

Fuck you, Bush! Fuck you, Big Oil!

Blogger John said...

Tits' tirade is a shining example of why the the 19th Amendment to the US Constitution needs to be revoked, ASAfuckingP! Goddamn chicks voting will be the death of this nation.

Blogger Ian McGibboney said...

Why did ubermilf have to beat me to the Thunderdome reference?!!

Yeah, gas here in southwest Missouri plunged below $3.60 yesterday, and that warranted a bulletin on our newspaper's Web site (and, presumably, a party at the pumps).

Conversely, I remember being angry in 2001 or so when gas shot up to $1.54, and the woman at the counter reminded me not to punch the pump. We were all so innocent then.

Blogger country roads said...

I use the Wolf's line as much as possible... love it!

I refuse to discuss gas prices as it makes me want to buy 5 extra gallons and burn a lot of shit down.

Blogger Tits McGee said...

John, would you like to come over here for your testicle removal or shall I come over to your place? Either way's cool with me - my kitchen shears are very portable.

Blogger acousticblinding said...

I like the methane idea. The only problem with it is that it's a natural resource and will run out eventually.

Now if we could power our cars on other people's stupidity, that's unlimited power there.

Blogger Scarlet Hip said...

You are just begging for yet another blog fight, aren't you.

Blogger John said...

Bring your shears on over, darlin'. I'll make you a deal. If you can get to my nuts, their yours. If you can't, you not only have to refrain from voting this year, you have to get 2 of your girlfriends who are just as clueless about politics beyond "Oooh! He's cute and he wants to everyone to be happy!" to sit home as well. Deal?

Blogger yournamehere said...

I'm voting for Obama 'cause McCain totally has the cooties.

Blogger Ian McGibboney said...

I'm voting for Obama because dour, humorless people with crummy politics hate him.

Blogger Scarlet Hip said...

John's line about being clueless would have been so much funnier if he hadn't fucked it up.

Blogger bobcat editor said...

He always gets flustered when he thinks about girls.

Blogger John said...

Yeah, I totally flubbed that one. But I talk girls to every day and I don't flustered at all.

Blogger Tits McGee said...

You bore me.

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