Monday, September 29, 2008
Worse than body odor
I've come to the conclusion that patchouli oil, also known as damn dirty hippie perfume, is more offensive than body odor. Hey, this isn't a love letter to body odor; it's a damning rant against the horrid stench of patchouli, which has a distinctive smell all its own. In that respect, it's truly the freshly baked cinnamon roll of funk.

I'm not saying that there aren't some occasions when rampant, mutant body odor doesn't smell worse than patchouli, but sometimes there are excuses for not smelling all nice and flowery. A hard day's work, a trip to the gym, a medical condition, or abject poverty/homelessness can all lead to b.o., but patchouli oil is the conscious choice of a certain segment of the leisure class who can't be bothered to bathe. In other words, someone thinks to him/herself, "I realize I smell like a skunk's cunt, but instead of introducing soap and water to my armpits and crotch, I'm going to half-assedly cover it up with this hippie juice." I'm sorry, but that can't be tolerated. If you are one of a small fraction of the world's population who has ready access to indoor plumbing, it's a sin not to use it.


11 Comments:

Blogger Lil Sass said...

I FUCKING HATE PATCHOULI WITH ALL OF MY BEING!!!!!! AAAAHHHHHH!!!! I'm so glad you posted about this ....

I too call it hippie juice.

Damn hippies

Blogger Übermilf said...

That reminds me of a female co-worker of Dilf's who used to have a crush on him.

She thought antiperspirants were evil tools of the proletariat, so she doused herself with a combination of patchouli and vanilla extract.

She also looked like Danny DeVito's "Penguin," except with ratty blonde hair with black roots.

Amen Bro. I think those damn dirty hippies need to be forced to wash with brillo pads and/or immediately put to death. It's all part of my platform for my city council run.

Blogger yournamehere said...

lil sass,
we agree on this? Obviously, we should have sex.

ubie,
jealous?

vast,
don't make me reestablish Nevada residency in order to vote against you. HA.

Blogger Scarlet Hip said...

They should make criminals wear patchouli, that way we can sniff them out easily.

Blogger Jo said...

I don't think I've ever smelled this patchouli oil. Now I desperately want to so that I know what you're talking about.

Blogger Eating Dust said...

here here!!!!!
I bounced someone out of a bar for wearing it once! Nasty!

I used to like it until I discovered bergamot and Dragon's Blood incense. THEN I came to my senses.

Blogger Tits McGee said...

I passed by a small gaggle of baby hippies in the hall at school the other day and was overwhelmed by the stink of patchouli and pits.

It was mad nasty, but I have to say that I found it less unpleasant than the stink of feet & Axe body spray the freshmen all sport. It's gagtastic.

Blogger Tracy said...

I once attended a Grateful Dead show and let me tell ya,
patchouli, weed, and assstank should be a deadly weapon.

would you rate it worse than "HellMouth"??

Blogger Kevin said...

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