Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Arctic Rednecks
If Sarah Palin was from the South, she wouldn't be a Vice Presidential candidate. Don't get me wrong, Americans will elect a Southerner; Bill Clinton is from Arkansas and George W. Bush, although from Connecticut, pretends to be from Texas. But they are what you would call "high falutin'" Southerners. Bill Clinton, though from humble beginnings, was an Ivy Leaguer and a Rhodes Scholar. Dubya was an Ivy Leaguer and, oh yeah, his dad was the President.

The Palins? They're fucking rednecks, y'all! You see them at every Wal-Mart in America. Dad is looking at ammo, Mom is showing the pregnant daughter some sweatshop-quality maternity clothes, the youngest daughter is holding the "Damn...I can still get pregnant?" mid-life baby, and the boys are filling a shopping cart with junk food. You'd look at them and think "Jesus, just get me the fuck out of here and I vow to do all of my shopping at Kroger from now on." It's true. Todd Palin is a dog sled racer. That's just Alaskan for NASCAR!

Substitute a Southern drawl for Sarah's ear-torturing Fargo-speak and she wouldn't stand a chance on the national stage, not with her other redneck leanings. She could be a duel-challenging Senator from Georgia, sure; but not vice president. As both a Palin detractor and a semi-Southerner, I don't know how to feel about this.

Hey, this doesn't have anything to do with the issues. Damn my liberal ways!


12 Comments:

Blogger Übermilf said...

I don't think dog sledding is like NASCAR, with its corporate sponsorships and all.

I think it's more like go karts or soap box derby or something.

I bet if they were southern rednecks that hang out with that vomiting chick who photo you warn us not to look at. IN fact, she's baby sit the kids when Sarah and Todd wanna get "busy."

Blogger Chris said...

Well its a funny old thing watching this unfold from over here in Europe.

There does seem to be a grassroots mistrust in the US of politicians appearing too clever which is a little odd.

Beware of investing your hopes and dreams in a party and leader chucking out the venal incompetent cocksuckers you've come to hate - they'll turn out to be exactly the same...

...can you believe I actually celebrated when Blair and Labour won? I feel like a naive fool.

Blogger Ian McGibboney said...

"Ear-torturing Fargo-speak," indeed. But even the best voice ever couldn't mask the hatred and inexplicable condescension in her rhetoric.

Blogger Nick said...

Happy birthday, douche.

Blogger Übermilf said...

Yes.

Happy birthday.

I think I missed Miss Kendra's birthday.

Excuse me.

Blogger Heather said...

Maybe more like roundee-round racing...

Otherwise, you hit the nail on the head.

nailed. love it.

Blogger Tits McGee said...

Happy Birthday, sweet cheeks.

Blogger Scarlet Hip said...

Happy birthday!

Blogger flounder said...

Happy birthday douche!

Blogger Ambitious Blonde said...

::says "I can see Alaska from my house" to see if my midwestern twang is offensive. Decides to type instead.::

Happy birthday, Toddy. :)

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