Arctic Rednecks

If Sarah Palin was from the South, she wouldn't be a Vice Presidential candidate. Don't get me wrong, Americans will elect a Southerner; Bill Clinton is from Arkansas and George W. Bush, although from Connecticut, pretends to be from Texas. But they are what you would call "high falutin'" Southerners. Bill Clinton, though from humble beginnings, was an Ivy Leaguer and a Rhodes Scholar. Dubya was an Ivy Leaguer and, oh yeah, his dad was the President.

The Palins? They're fucking rednecks, y'all! You see them at every Wal-Mart in America. Dad is looking at ammo, Mom is showing the pregnant daughter some sweatshop-quality maternity clothes, the youngest daughter is holding the "Damn...I can still get pregnant?" mid-life baby, and the boys are filling a shopping cart with junk food. You'd look at them and think "Jesus, just get me the fuck out of here and I vow to do all of my shopping at Kroger from now on." It's true. Todd Palin is a dog sled racer. That's just Alaskan for NASCAR!

Substitute a Southern drawl for Sarah's ear-torturing Fargo-speak and she wouldn't stand a chance on the national stage, not with her other redneck leanings. She could be a duel-challenging Senator from Georgia, sure; but not vice president. As both a Palin detractor and a semi-Southerner, I don't know how to feel about this.

Hey, this doesn't have anything to do with the issues. Damn my liberal ways!