Friday, September 05, 2008
Let's play a friendly game of "What if,,,?"
What if Barack Obama had a seventeen-year-old daughter who was pregnant? How would the right wing media treat this? Let's take a look, shall we?

Sean Hannity: Hello, everyone. Welcome to HANNITY and Colmes. Alan Colmes has the night off; he's busying waxing my yacht so I'll allow him to keep this gig. Anyway, our good friend Michelle Malkin is here.

Michelle Malkin: Blah blah blah liberals blah blah.

SH: Well put, Michelle. Our first story today is the shocking news that Barrack Obama's seventeen-year-old daughter is pregnant.

MM: Blah blah failure of parents blah blah blah. Blah.

SH: You see, folks, the liberal lifestyle has failed the Obamas, just as it has and will continue to fail America. These are the "anything goes" people, and now they're paying the price.

MM: Blah fornication blah condom broke blah blah blah blah blah.

SH: "Go ahead and have sex with anything that moves," the liberals say to anyone who'll listen. Well I'll tell you who's listening: Their children. And yours.

MM: Blah Bill Clinton's fault blah.

SH: And it's a proven fact that birth control never, ever works. Ever. In fact, it increases the likelihood of pregnancy, studies show.

MM: Buy my book.

SH: Oh, it looks like Alan Colmes is back from doing his chores. Welcome back, piss boy.

Alan Colmes: Wait a minute....You can't possibly blame all liberals for this. Unless of course, you really want to...

SH: Nice purple cloak, nut breath.

MM: Blah 9/11 blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah.

SH: We have to go to a break, but when we come back Ann Coulter will be here to tell you why Obama's daughter is a giant whore. And don't worry, we won't let Alan talk out of turn again.


Blogger lostinutah said...


Though Skeletor (am I right?)is more applicable to McCain.

Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

Once again, you hit the nail on the head.

Blogger Übermilf said...

I want to play just plain "if."

If 7 of the last 8 years have seen Republicans in charge of all three branches of government, how does voting Republican now demonstrate "change?"

If our country has been turning more and more conservative since St. Ronnie swept into office in 1980, with social programs gutted and industries deregulated, why is London poised to take over New York as the financial capital of the world and why are European companies buying out American ones and why do the Chines and OPEC nations own our asses? If all that shit is so successful, why are we so economically weak?

If European countries are so "liberal" and "moving away from Christianity" and "lacking in family values," why are our abortion, sexually-active teen and teen pregnancy rates so much higher?

If "socialized medicine" is so bad, why does the United States lag well behind when it comes to infant mortality, overall life expectancy, and life expectancy at 65?

Blogger Tits McGee said...


Blogger Übermilf said...

Also, all due respect to your brother, who I really don't think is a bad person despite our difference in opinions ---

I don't want to hear about the fucking taxes again.

Blogger Tracy said...

Double Amen! Did anyone happen to see Samantha Bee from the Daily Show trying to get someone at the Repub Convention say the word "Choice" in describing Bristols "options" regarding her pregnancy?

It was sheer brilliance.

Blogger Jo said...

Ubie, that's a really good chart. It clears up a few misconceptions I have always had. Thanks for sharing!

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