Thursday, September 04, 2008
A liberal watches Sarah Palin's convention speech
Wow, I was wrong about Sarah Palin. She has convinced me with her brilliant oratory that being mayor of Polar Bear Spunk, Alaska has made her completely ready to be President of the United States if John McCain croaks.

Just kidding. She fucking sucks.

A few notes as I listened and looked in abject horror at the hyper-"patriotic" Pleasantville presentation that unfolded before me:

-I'm sorry, but her voice is fingernails-on-the-chalkboard irritating. She would be a prime instrument of the torture that John McCain used to be against but now supports.

-She says that "John McCain puts country first." Maybe he used to, but not lately; and certainly not when he chose Sarah Palin as his running mate.

-I'm not going to say anything bad about her children. If she had taught her teenage daughter about birth control like any responsible 21st Century parent, the kid wouldn't be in the national spotlight as a right-wing Juno.

-She mentions that her husband, Todd, *sigh* is a fisherman and likes to kill moose with his bare hands, etc., but fails to bring up his affiliation with traitorous fringe groups who want Alaska to expatriate itself from the good ol' USA.

-She praises Harry Truman, who was a Democrat. I wonder if she knows this.

-Oh, let the pandering to "small towns" begin. Those damn city dwellers and their uppity ways will flat ruin us!

-If I had a dollar for every time someone said "hockey mom" I'd have several dollars.

-She says she joined the PTA because "I wanted to make schools better for my children." I guess she thought she'd achieve that noble goal by eliminating the teaching of science.

-She speaks about John McCain in glowing terms, of course, but then insults "Washington insiders". John McCain IS a Washington insider, no matter how many times Sarah Palin calls him a "maverick" in that annoying, hooked-on-phonics cadence of hers.

-Then she claims she is against the "status quo". Madame Governor, you are the vice presidential candidate for the Republican party. It doesn't get any more status quo than that.

-Wow, what a reformer! Sarah Palin sure cleaned up Alaskan government, and if you don't believe her, ask the Republican attorney general who "investigated" ethics violations against her.

-She claims to have always been against the so-called "Bridge to Nowhere" in Alaska, but people who were there at the time remember differently. In other words, she's a filthy liar.

-This Republican crowd sure likes ol' feisty Sarah. I like the way she condescends to Barack Obama, Joe Biden, and anyone left of Joseph McCarthy. Way to appeal to those independents, GOP.

-She mentions solar, wind, and geothermal energy, which is great. Seriously. Too bad the guy at the head of the ticket has never mentioned any of those things. Of course, since they hardly know one another, it shouldn't surprise me that they may differ on policy.

-Sarah basically calls Obama and Biden pussies because they weren't tortured by the Viet Cong like "Ironsides" McCain. Hey, does that means she's calling Chuck Norris a pussy? Fuck her!

That was very heart-tugging, really. It reminded me of a time long since passed in a place that never really existed, a place called Republicanville; where all the men wear nice-but-not-too-nice suits, all the women have kids until their uterus collapses, and all children are taught abstinence only, to mixed results.

As Sarah Palin tried to appeal to "average hard working Americans" while representing the party that viciously ass-rapes them on a daily basis, she forgot to mention that she's against abortion in all cases, including rape, incest, and to save the life of the mother; and several other FAR right wing policies she supports. Since John Kerry's milquetoast ass isn't our nominee this year, I'm confident the public will be notified of her extremism.

But wait, there's more
I was too angry last night to effectively express my outrage at Sarah Palin's smarmy, dismissive attitude toward Barack Obama's work as a community organizer.

For years the Republicans have said "Hey, don't always rely on the government to help you out. There are grass roots community organizations that will be happy to lend a hand." Well, Sarah Palin took a big healthy shit on all of that last night. Community organizers, who according to Palin have no real responsibilities, feed and clothe poor people and their children, shop for senior citizens who can't get around anymore, help people find jobs TO KEEP THEM OFF OF WELFARE, and even take potential voters to the polls on election day. A lot of these community organizers are faith based, which you'd think would be appealing to a fundamentalist like Sarah Palin, but I guess not. I guess she only wants churches to validate her closed-mindedness and tell people who aren't just like her that they're going to hell.

Several years ago I was with a Habitat for Humanity group that helped build a house for a family in Sumter, South Carolina. A community organizer made sure that the pros did the important work while schlubs like me helped with the more mundane details. I'm sure the mother of two who was moving into the house (and was there alongside us, helping us work), a very religious Southern Baptist, was extremely grateful for the work of the community organizer Sarah Palin mocks.

Oh, and while she's been governor of Alaska, she's cut funds to special needs children by 62%. That may change now that she has a special needs child of her own, but what a shame that she felt the need to cut funds in the first place.


Blogger lostinutah said...

Simply appalled. I can say no more. (And, you guys that disagree with me, sod off).

Blogger Holly's Boyfriend said...


...not a bad take on Republicanville. These guys always seem to take patriotism right past the edge of tasteful in into the realm of jingoism.

U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!

Blogger Übermilf said...

Personally, I like it when she tells people what God wants.

Blogger DogGirl said...

She is truly frightening Milf. If this god-guy existed, wouldn't he smite her just for spouting this BS? "Billion dollar pipeline? Oil? GTFOH! I never willed that!" If he exists and I meet him at the gates, I think he'll be much kinder to Those Who Doubt than to Those Who Slander And Make Shit Up And Use My Name To Further Their Political Agenda.

Blogger DogGirl said...

Her son's name is Track? Bristol and Track. Are there more?

Blogger DogGirl said...

Oooh, 3 more - looking for names now...

Blogger DogGirl said...

Trig. Piper. Willow. Trig and Track - best subjects in school? Eesh.

Blogger Ian McGibboney said...

Sarah and Rudy showed last night why I will never be a Republican. Who else would use "community organizer" as a punch line for jeering? Well said, Todd.

Must be tough for anyone with a semblance of a soul to defend these jerks.

Blogger egan said...

Yeah, I could only take so much of her before turning the channel. The part that annoyed me was her rant about political detainees and how Obama wants to give them rights. Um, isn't that what due process is all about?

Blogger jazzbonejoe said...

Well, the Republicans have done everything they can to ensure that the Dems will win in November. Honestly, I don't see how they can lose. But they've pulled it off before.

McCain's a psycho. Palin's a fucking loonytoon. The rest of the GOP is almost universally hated, right from Dubya on down. After hearing Palin speak, I'm not sure how Obama can fuck this up.

Here's to hoping he doesn't find a way...

Blogger Übermilf said...

JazzyJoe, I'll tell you how they can (or will) win: racism.

Blogger Übermilf said...
Blogger egan said...

Great link Ubie. Jesus loves all his neighbors too, that's what community leaders do.

Blogger Tracy said...

I'll be lucky to have any teeth left by tonight...i'm grinding them so hard they hurt.

todd, the fact that you can watch this without screaming (or perhaps like me, you are?)
is amazing and commendable.

Blogger Scarlet Hip said...

Nice, now the republicans have denigrated the term "community organizer", much like they did with the word "liberal". A liberal community organizer! You know who likes them?? Satan! That's who!

Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

I had to stop watching because her bullshit made me physically ill.

Blogger Tits McGee said...

Just thinking about her makes me STABBY.

The slew of outright lies laid out by Mitt, Rudy, and Sarah that night was simply breathtaking. Washington is liberal?! Eight years of Bush + 6 years of Republican Congress = LIBERAL???!!! I'm a math teacher and can't begin figure out the logic behind that one.

And that 9/11 video right befor McCain's speech? Oy vey. The right seriously needs to find a new tack. BOOGEDY BOOGEDY 9/11 just ain't cutting it anymore.

The whole ugly mess was just barfworthy.

Blogger Nick said...

Uppity is racist!

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