Friday, October 03, 2008
Our Interview with Sarah Palin
I sent a member of the vaunted Death Wore a Feathered Mullet news team to the battleground state of Ohio to interview vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin. Here's the text...

DWAFM: Thanks for agreeing to the interview, Governor Palin.

SP: Oh, you betcha. Anything to help John McCain get elected.

DWAFM: Well, only ten people read the blog, and eight of them are liberals.

SP: Even welfare-collectin' baby killers can learn somethin'.

DWAFM: Do you read blogs?

SP: Oh yes. I'm quite the little reader, I am.

DWAFM: What is your favorite blog?

SP: (pause) All of 'em.

DWAFM: All of them? Every blog? There are hundreds of thousands of blogs.

SP: I read 'em all. Each and every one of 'em. Daily.

DWAFM: Can you give me an example of one you read?

SP: I read all the time. Reading is my life, Katie.

DWAFM: Did you just call me Katie? I'm a guy.

SP: You certainly are. Yes.

DWAFM: Are you mentally capable of giving an example? What is your favorite color?

SP: You know, that reminds me of a funny story: When I was a kid, my mom gave me a brand new pack of Crayola crayons for the start of school. It was only the 16 color variety, not the 128 color box the liberal elites bought their kids; but I was proud of that box of crayons, don'tcha know.

DWAFM: Yeah, that was hilarious. You didn't answer the question, Governor.

SP: Well, I might not answer the question the way you or the moderator want me to answer it.

DWAFM: What? What moderator? There's no moderator here. Never mind. Let's try another one. Can you name a United States senator other than McCain, Obama, or Biden?

SP: That's a trick question. Obama's not a senator, he's a community organizer.

DWAFM: I'll assume you're joking.

SP: (vacant stare)

DWAFM: You aren't joking. I assure you, Barack Obama is a U.S. senator.

SP: Okay. Whatever.

DWAFM: You still haven't answered my question. Come on, name the senior senator from Alaska. I'll give you a hint: He's the longest serving Republican in the Senate, indicted by a grand jury for violations of the Ethics in Government Act, campaigned for you in your gubernatorial run...

SP: I've never run for gubernator. That's crazy talk.

DWAFM: TED STEVENS! His name is Ted Stevens. You know him personally!

SP: Simmer down, hot rod. No need to yell. You liberal elites are so angry.

DWAFM: This is the point where Tina Fey yells "Live from New York, it's Saturday Night!"

SP: She looks like me.

DWAFM: I'm done here. Have a nice life, Governor.

SP: But I still have to passive-aggressively attack Barack Obama and mention my Alaskan energy policy regardless of the topic.

DWAFM: Do it on your own time, sister. And give your daughter some fucking birth control next time.


Well, that wasn't very professional, was it? I'll have to find a more objective member of the news team to do the next interview.


11 Comments:

Blogger Internet librarian said...

I meant to say she sounded like a broken atrac tape.

Blogger Ćœbermilf said...

Bwak! Maverick! Bwak! Energy Producing State! Energy Producing State! Drill, Drill!

Hello! Pretty Bird! Bwak!

Blogger lostinutah said...

ROFLMAO.

I couldn't believe during the part of the debate I saw she was doing the whole "dismissive smirk" thing like McCain did as Biden spoke.

On the other hand, I loved Biden's wide, happy grin every time something stupid came out of her mouth. Which was often.

Blogger apathetic bliss said...

buwahahahhaa...doggoneit!

Blogger DogGirl said...

The 2008 Debate Maverick Drinking Game!

Blogger Ambitious Blonde said...

I didn't have the mental fortitude to watch the debates last night. Being sick for a week took it out of me. Thanks for bringing me up to speed, Toddy. :)

Blogger Scarlet Hip said...

Heck yeah! Gosh darnit!

Blogger Tracy said...

There ya go again toddy.
Everytime she chirped "Maverick" i wanted Biden to reply "talk to me Goose!"

obscure Top Gun ref... :)

Blogger Tracy said...

oh yeah,
and then beat her to death with a shovel.

Blogger Tits McGee said...

::winks, giggles::

Blogger egan said...

You nailed it!

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