Tuesday, November 04, 2008
I wrote a song
I wrote some lyrics to the tune of Elton John's Candle in the Wind.

Fart in the Wind (Goodbye Sarah P)

Goodbye Sarah P
There was nothing about you but looks
You charged girls for rape kits
And you banned a lot of books

You crawled out of the woodwork
With your tiny little brain
You had several children
And you gave them stupid names

And it seems to me your political life
Is like a fart in the wind
And the bad smell went away
When the votes came in
And I'm glad I didn't know you
'Cause you seem like a bitch
When it seemed McCain would lose
You threw him in a ditch

Interviews are tough
When you don't have a clue
Rush made you a superstar
But you turned the red states blue

Moderates and women
Oh, they really hated you
Even your supporters
Just wanted to see you in the nude

And it seems to me your political life
Is like a fart in the wind
And the bad smell went away
When the votes came in
And I'm glad I didn't know you
Because you make me ill
Your legend will burn out long before
Your ambition ever will


Blogger Scarlet Hip said...

You are a fucking genius. Yes sir, you betcha!

Blogger Tracy said...

Maybe you can get the Mavericks to record that for ya!

At least Hamas is happy tonight.

Blogger Nick said...

I want to hear some more of your brother's unfounded complaints.

Blogger foundinidaho said...

Hamas and some damn fine Americans.

Blogger yournamehere said...


can I have one moment of joy? Is that too much to ask?

Blogger Ćœbermilf said...

Yeah, he's starting to sound like Judge Schmaels in Caddyshack.

Blogger Nick said...

Does he use the word "Coloreds" when referring to a group of black people?

I'm asking for a friend.

Blogger yournamehere said...


non-voters aren't allowed to comment on political issues. Come back next week when I'll be talking about tits and beer again.

Somewhere there is a Grammy with your name on it.

Blogger Chris said...

Well done everybody!

Blogger Jo said...

1) Piper and Willow are AWESOME names.

2) Scott, I am sorry it turned out this way. When Todd and I are married, I am going to insist that we send half of our welfare checks to you.

3) Todd, I hope this makes you happy for at least a couple of days :-)

Blogger Nick said...


It is my duty as an American to comment on political issues regardless of whether or not I voted or how well informed I am.

In fact the more inflammatory the comment, The more American.

Blogger Nick said...

Also, Piper and Willow are only awesome names if you plan on giving your children berets and encourage them to engage in everyday activities shoeless.

Blogger Ambitious Blonde said...

My adoration for you knows no bounds, good sir. :)

Blogger Internet librarian said...

I breathed a sigh of relief.

Blogger Miss Pants said...

What a fucking relief.

Blogger DogGirl said...

Piper and Willow are fine if you star in a show with a talking cat and your nipples are the most talent seen there! wewonwewonwewon!

Blogger the_LuLi said...

Beautiful. *wipes tears*

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