Sunday, November 02, 2008
Thanks, Dick!

Dick Cheney, shown here during happier times, just endorsed John McCain for President.

Is this the "October surprise" I've been worried about? Is McCain thrilled to have the Cheney juggernaut of voter disapproval attached to his campaign? What, was Montgomery Burns unavailable for a stump speech guest appearance?

You won't see President Bush out there campaigning for his "good friend" John McCain. He'll be sequestered in the White House panic room with a gross of Zesty Ranch Pork Rinds until the election is over, lest undecided voters see him butcher the English language on C-Span and cast their lots with Obama.

I have an idea that I think the Dems should run with: Unleash a small army of George Bush impersonators across all the swing states and have each of them deliver campaign speeches for John McCain.

"Senator McCain couldn't be here today, because he's busy in what he likes to call 'a real state'. You see, John McCain thinks there are two many inbred morons in these parts, so he sent me to talk to you. And I'm here to tell you that a vote for McCain is a vote for my third term."

I should run political campaigns.


19 Comments:

Blogger DogGirl said...

Great, affirmation of my doubts for my existence! I clicked Montgomey Burns and I'm FORBIDDEN, with this message:

You really aren't supposed to be here.

Blogger jacksongirl said...

Actually I think GWB is roasting marshmallows and going on hayrides at Camp David until this all blows over.

Blogger Übermilf said...

I'm ready for Tuesday.

Blogger Jo said...

I'm ready for Wednesday.

Blogger foundinidaho said...

I'm so ready for President Obama.

I'm not ready to pay 60% in income taxes.

Blogger Nick said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

Blogger Nick said...

I'm so ready to pay 60% income tax so I don't have to spend 4 more years under a racist, sexist administration that cares more about the top one percent than the middle class.

Good for you Nick. I'd feel that way to if I was a broke dick.

Blogger Scarlet Hip said...

Actually, the tax rate would go from 35% to 39% for those making more than 250K. More than before, but certainly not 60%.

I bet McCain is thrilled that Dick "So?" Cheney is backing him.

You are obviously smarter than me, and you must be a corporate accountant, so please tell me what you get when you add 39.6% + 13.8% self employment tax + 6.8% SS tax (which currently is only on the first $102K you make, but under Obama will be on the entire amount you make) This is only on the personal income that I pay myself, and does not include Obama's proposed higher corporate taxes, payroll taxes, and capital gains taxes that will directly and dramatically affect my company's profitability and the job security of my employees. But hey, it's no big deal to you, right? You can expect a nice $1000 check in the mail courtesy of myself or the employees that I have to fire to cover it. Be sure to enjoy it! Next time I need help calculating the taxes that I PAY for my business, I'll be sure to consult with you.

Blogger Jo said...

VRWC -

I put those numbers into my calculator and the output was "You should probably just stay home and collect welfare."

Blogger Scarlet Hip said...

Oh I'm so sorry, I keep forgetting that VRWC is the only one here who has a work ethic. We humble schoolteachers clearly have no right to express an opinion on anything political or economical. Silly me!

Blogger Tits McGee said...

Hush your mouth, Scarlet and just go on quietly brainwashing future generations with liberal socialist claptrap like all of us lowly teachers do. ;)

Where in my comments did I say you couldn't have an opinion? When have I ever said that anyone isn't entitled to their opinions? You challenged me directly on what my income taxes would be under Obama, and, as any good teacher would do, I educated you.

Blogger foundinidaho said...

My taxes will go down, VRWC. That's because I'm now supporting my husband and kids. Three months ago they would have gone up because we were both working. And I will still voting for him then, and now. And yes, you're entitled to your opinion, and me to mine.

I think Whoopi Goldberg said, and I agree with her - it really doesn't matter who's getting elected YOUR TAXES WILL GO UP. It's the way things are. One way, or another. Unless you're rich, of course, then under McCain they go down.

Blogger Übermilf said...

Supply-side economics and deregulation and all those other Milton Friedman-y things failed because greedy bastards took advantage of the situation and didn't keep up their end of the bargain.

If people want to complain about a shift to a more Keynesian point of view, those people can blame their selfish counterparts who ruined it for everyone.

Blogger Scarlet Hip said...

Thank you, Vast, for that informative lesson on your tax issues. Once again, I keep forgetting that this election is all about you, and not about the other 98% of the population who are not in your income bracket.

Oh, and you'll still be bringing home more money than I am, even after all those taxes. So enjoy your good fortune.

Blogger Jo said...

Damn you, VRWC. I thought that you had become affluent because you took a risk, started your own business, and worked your ass off until it became successful. I thought you were STILL working your ass off every day. I had no idea you were just lucky! I'm with the rest of Todd's friends now - give me your money, you lucky bastard!

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