Tuesday, October 27, 2009
It should have been you, Spade. It should have been you.
There's a new commercial for Direct TV staring the late Chris Farley and his alleged best friend, David Spade. It features old footage of Farley from the film Tommy Boy. He does his "fat guy in a little coat" routine as Spade shills for satellite television, saying "I could be at home watching Direct TV. Instead (points in the direction of his dead best friend), I'm stuck with that." He also calls the late comedian "tons of fun", because that's how loathsome vultures treat their deceased pals.

Way to go Spade, you corpse-raping midget. I know Chris Farley died a long time ago, and I don't expect David Spade to be in a constant state of mourning; but for fuck's sake, is he so bereft of options to continue the shit stain that passes as his career he has to posthumously insult Farley for a quick payday?

Yes, Chris Farley ate, drank, and drugged his way to an early grave. I'm not suggesting he was a hero or should even be an object of your pity. But he was sometimes funny, which is more than that smarmy fuck David Spade can claim. To this day, despite years of appearances in unfunny movies and TV series, David Spade is still primarily known as Chris Farley's smartass sidekick.

Every day David Spade wakes up and doesn't have to go down to a bus station and blow strangers for cash, he should thank God he met and befriended Chris Farley. He should also have the humility to realize that he only gets to fuck hot twentysomething girls because he's a pseudo-celebrity and they have low self-esteem, but that's for another post.

Whenever I think about Phil Hartman and Chris Farley being dead while David Spade lives, it makes me want to toss a dwarf through a plate glass window.


Blogger Dr. Monkey said...

Oh how I love the way you think.

Good points all bro. I met David Spade once. I swear to God he could blow me standing straight up. He is barely 5' tall.

Blogger Ćœbermilf said...

I saw that commercial last night and I couldn't believe it.

Blogger Rachelle said...

Thank Christ I wasn't the only person mortally offended by that commercial. I wanted to reach into my television and claw Spade's worthless eyes out.

Seriously - this is what your career has come to? The funniest thing that ever happened to you on the big screen was sitting on that frigging couch watching Fat Man In A Little Coat, and you were nothing more than a prop.


Blogger beatgrl said...

Word, brother. Well said.

Blogger foundinidaho said...

I saw David Spade hosting an event in Vegas years ago that was being filmed, so I got to see him off-camera. You have no idea how right you are.

Blogger Mark said...

truer words have never been blogged.

i would gladly trade 25 rob schneiders or 50 keenan thompsons for 1 chris farley or phil harman.

Blogger Scarlet Hip said...

I was horrified when I saw that commercial. It just shows what a complete douchebag David Spade is. In fact, he was on my "I don't care how rich, famous, or powerful you are, I wouldn't do you unless there was a gun pointed at my dog" post. And at the time I didn't even have a dog.

Blogger Tracy said...

I JUST saw this commercial and i too was stunned by how crass it seemed. First thought i had was "i thought they were friends."

Blogger Ian McGibboney said...

Just playing devil's advocate here, because I also cringed at that commercial:

Doesn't the Chris Farley estate also have a say in this? Let's not give David Spade all the corpse-raping credit here.

Blogger Kimberly said...

Midgets & dwarves - what do you have against little people?

Blogger Ian McGibboney said...

I didn't mention this before, but Spade has clearly aged. Not just since Tommy Boy, but just in the past couple of years. Poor guy.

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