Sunday, October 25, 2009
Yeah, so I yelled at a debt collector...
I only had an hour to go on my shift at work yesterday when the "night shift" cashiers started coming in. One young lady had just clocked in when she received a phone call. It was a debt collector, violating every law on Earth by calling her at her job, and this asshole threatened and berated her until she started sobbing. Not crying, SOBBING. She was so upset that she asked if she could go home.

This lady is a person who cries at the drop of a hat, but she shows up on time, does her job, and doesn't fucking sass-talk me, so she's a valuable employee; and I'll be ass-raped if I'm going to let some bottom-feeding piece of human garbage fuck with her.

Luckily, she had written down the number and extension so she could call him back and continue to be harangued at a later time. I went into the back office, closed the door, and called the number myself.

Me: Did you just call here and talk to (name withheld)?

Vulture: Yes, she has an outstanding debt...

Me (interrupting): Well, this is a place of business and we don't give a fuck about her outstanding debt.

Vulture (dripping with condescension): And who are you?

Me: WHO AM I? I'M THE FUCKING ANTI-CHRIST, MOTHERFUCKER! IF YOU EVER - EVER!!!! - CALL MY EMPLOYEE HERE AGAIN I'LL RIP THE PHONE FROM HER HAND AND SET OFF AN AIR-RAID SIREN INTO THE RECEIVER THAT WILL FUCKING DEAFEN YOU!! YOU'LL NEVER HEAR OUT OF THAT EAR FOR THE REST OF YOUR MISERABLE LIFE. ARE WE CLEAR?

Vulture: Well, blahblahblah...

Me: Good day, sir.

Vulture: Blahblahblahblah....

Me: I SAID 'GOOD DAY'! (With that I slammed down the phone)

I've always wanted to end a conversation like that! I had to stifle laughter the whole time.

And anyone who is thinking "He was just doing his job", well fuck that. His job sucks and he's a cold blooded scavenger of human misery. I hope his herpes gets Aids.



13 Comments:

Blogger Übermilf said...

They harassed her at the job she was working to help pay down her bills? That seems counter-intuitive, doesn't it?

When Dilf got a new cell phone number, he kept getting phone calls for the lady who USED to have the number -- and the ASSHOLE WOULDN'T STOP CALLING until his SUPERVISOR was threatened with legal action by my husband. Even though Dilf was not the person they were looking for. It's like they get paid for being thugs.

Blogger Eric Riback said...

You were way too kind to him.

I said Good day Sir! Ha! That's great. Way to do what everyone wants to do!

Blogger Sara said...

how very Willie Wonkaish

Blogger Tracy said...

i learned from a debt collector (he was a friend of a friend) that if you offer them a pennies on the dollar settlement roughly the last week of the month they are more likely to accept and write off the debt.

If she can do that, tell her to offer less than 40%. You may want to be in the room with her because they will scream at her. But the fuckers usually will take it. Month end Quotas and all, ya know?

Blogger Scarlet Hip said...

I love the air horn idea. I'm thinking of getting one just for fun.

Blogger Ian McGibboney said...

Beautiful! Todd, you are my role model.

Blogger Dr. Monkey said...

Amen brother.

Blogger SkitzoLeezra said...

I've heard that if you instruct them not to call at work, they cannot do it again but you must ask for supervisor and tell them.
Hope that you intercept their next call and report back to us!

Blogger Kimberly said...

Well...I can see I we are getting on the right foot - together. Kudos to you!

Blogger SkitzoLeezra said...

Hey Kim,
Fancy meeting you here!

Blogger Heather said...

I hope his herpes gets AIDS, too. Good day, sir.

Blogger 徵信 said...

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