The biggest lie of retail is, of course, "The customer is always right." That saying, regardless of who it is falsely attributed to, was almost certainly uttered by (A) a customer; or (B) some rich suit who never had to deal with the general public. I can assure you that the customer is frequently wrong and is getting "wronger" every day.
If you want to reinforce your belief that society is getting dumber, crueler, less patient, and just completely insufferable, ask someone who has to wait on the public. They'll tell you that the public can get ass-fucked with a broomstick. People want diamonds but they only want to pay for coal. And you'd best get it to them yesterday, with a big ol' smile plastered on your face.
I want to own my own business so I can tell assholes that they are, in fact, assholes. The other day I took this neck brace-wearing douchebag to our well-marked selection of South African wines. Did the man say, "Well, thank you for allowing me to go through life never reading signs"? No. He scanned the wines for a second and proclaimed, "This is it? This is a rather incomplete selection of South African wines. In fact, it's pathetic."
FUCK. YOU. Buy your own liquor store, you snotty prick. When I offered to summon our wine manager for him to belittle, he sneered, "I know more about South African wines than he does."
"Oh, I don't doubt that," I said as I took my absence of his annoying presence. And by "Oh, I don't doubt that" I meant "Someone put you in that neck brace for being a piece of shit, didn't they? I hope it spreads to your brain, dickhead. And your wife looks like Ernest Borgnine."
Another closely related big lie of retail is this: In this recession, you need to kiss every customer's ass. They are all valuable.
Wrong. Some customers are more trouble than they're worth, especially in the liquor business. Twenty-five-year-old dudes want to bring their Hanna Montanaesque teenage fuck-buddies to a liquor store and then throw a fit when asked for her I.D. These people are worthless and should be drowned in the river on local television.
In most cases, service is overrated. It's all about price-point and convenience, with product a distant third. Don't believe me? Look at Wal-Mart. Have you ever asked one of their glassy-eyed employees for help? You might as well try to get a decent South African wine where I work!!! It ain't happenin'.
In short, go fuck yourself, America.