Monday night a friend and I had a few beers at the Monte Carlo Brew Pub on the Strip, then on the way home stopped at the fabulous In-n-Out Burger for a late meal. Maybe it was because I hadn't eaten since 11am and it was past 10pm when we got our food, but that was the best burger I've ever eaten. Every bite was heaven on a bun. It was so good I decided early Tuesday morning that I was going to have lunch at the In-n-Out near my work.
Everything was going as planned; I was almost salivating at the thought of the usual: A Double-Double with grilled onions. Then about fifteen minutes before lunchtime, it happened. I had to take a monstrous dump, the kind that sets off sprinkler systems. I'm talking a poop like the one that killed Elvis. It smelled like the brutal combination of a Double-Double with grilled onions, AND ASS. So much for the craving. I had a salad for lunch.
Everything was going as planned; I was almost salivating at the thought of the usual: A Double-Double with grilled onions. Then about fifteen minutes before lunchtime, it happened. I had to take a monstrous dump, the kind that sets off sprinkler systems. I'm talking a poop like the one that killed Elvis. It smelled like the brutal combination of a Double-Double with grilled onions, AND ASS. So much for the craving. I had a salad for lunch.
20 Comments:
The beginning of this post had me grabbing my keys, ready to race to In-n-Out...then I got to PSR (poop smell recognition). I actually snorted, why the hell is poop so funny?
I think I'll have a pb&j.
Jesus, I loved in-n-out. When I was in California, even my nana's passing couldn't keep me out of that place. OH my GOD, I'm suddenly starving.
LOL
Finally got to paragraph 2.
Toddsky, I was out on a walk tonight when severe cramps hit the lower regions. I had to hold it in for close to 50 minutes, but my farts sounded -- and felt like -- a stiff old dishrag being ripped out of my colon at the speed of light.
You held the onions on the salad right?
ew
In and Out is the only thing I miss about California. They do burgers the 50s way. They grind up an entire quarter of beef, so you get all the cuts from prime rib to t-bone. They also don't freeze anything.
I go to In & Out whenever I get to Cali. Not quite as good as 5 Guys Burgers & Fries in DC, but still outlandishly good.
The question that haunts me is why do I proceed beyond the TMI warning sign? Do I drive around the "Bridge Out" sign? No. Do I cross the yellow police tape to look at the dead body? Nope.
Never again.
Never been to In-n-Out but it sounds to me, from the description of the state of your colon, that the name is very fitting.
Recently had my very first In-n-Out Burger experience. It was a truly momentous occasion. Can't recall the bowel movement associated with it, though.
so thats how it got the name in-n-out....
There is a reason why it is called IN AND OUT burger, because that is the rapid progression of your meal. You don't buy it, you rent it.
I don't eat fast food, but I am always tempted to go to In N Out when I am in Cali. I never eat there though.
wow...that was gross....
The best of YNH ~ Poop humor! LOL! At least it's got you on a health kick. :)
I worked through the TMI post enough to have In-n-Out for lunch. No bathroom details, but did you know they have bible verses on the bottom of their cups and burger wrappers? The cheeseburger verse, Revelations 3:20, works well with my favorite time passer from spending the better half of my childhood in church:
Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me, in the bathroom.
sharts
The first half of your post I'm thinking "I need to book that trip to the West Coast, try that famed In-n-Out burger"---and then you ruined it for me. ;-) Oh well, we were warned!
Good plan YNH - and after having a salad for lunch, I'm betting that wasn't your only monstrous dump of the day.
HAHAHAHAH....OMG...I SO laughed out loud. I think the neighbors heard me.
I LOVE in and out. Even a diet cant keep me from them - I get them "protein style" without the bun. :)
i've only had the pleasure of eating there once, this past march, when i was in california. it was awesome and i wish there was one somewhere remotely close to me.
Yesterday was a poopy day it seems. I also posted on my tummy issues. Ew!
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