It's About Fuckin' Time, Huh?

Yes, vacation and faulty routers have conspired to effectively place on blog on the dreaded "hiatus", but I'm back now, beeeeyotches. I'll be boring the christ out of the lot of you in no time.

Okay, here's a rundown since I last blogged.

-On the way back to Vegas, I thought they were going to turn our plane around. A group of frat/sorority man-cunts and she-pricks created quite the ruckus. One douchebag screamed at the top of his lungs during takeoff, which prompted a flight attendant to tell him to shut it or U.S. marshals would be waiting for him in Vegas. And these yahoos weren't even from Louisville; they were from a connecting flight. Louisville yahoos would have at least been amusing, and they would have bought drinks for everyone they annoyed.

Even more frustrating a piece of human flotsom as far as I was concerned was this borderline retarded girl who insisted on singing along with her i-pod for four fucking hours. Imagine a shitty top-forty singalong with Fran Drescher if she was booze-hungover and cum-drunk. I actually made a mental note that this cooze was going to be trouble before we even boarded the plane. She was one of those people who thinks they're much more attractive and interesting than they really are. Someone needs to tell ms. jizz jar that just because the local frat uses her as a human pincushion, that doesn't make her entertaining. During the plane ride, while she was scream-singing Ashley Simpson songs I wanted her to give someone, anyone, a blowjob. I would have appreciated the silence. Since this happened on January 1st, she's an early candidate for the coveted title of "vivalasvegASS cunt of the year".

-While in Louisville, I visited the Muhammad Ali Center. It was fantastic. Admission was only nine dollars and it was well worth it. I urge anyone who lives in that area of the country to visit; and if you have children, by all means take them. As another example of my duality, this life-enriching experience is only a mile or so away from my favorite strip club.

-Speaking of strip clubs, why do strippers insist on taking off my glasses and rubbing them on their cootchies? My face is never attached, so this does nothing for me. I don't wear glasses because I like looking like a nerd; I need them to see, god damn it. I wonder if they do the same thing with hearing aides, crutches, and artificial limbs? "Honey, why is your wooden leg all sticky?"

-I'm not mentioning any names because the parties involved may not want their names mentioned, but a few of my blogger friends have deleted or altered their blogs because of harassment. Holy cunting shit, why does this happen? Do you know how many blogs I read and really despise? No, because I only read them once. I move on if I don't like them. Some people live such empty, hollow lives, however, and I guess passing judgment on strangers makes them feel better about themselves. I hope their genitals rot and fall off.

-Thanks to everyone for the kind comments. I'm really glad to be back.