Saturday, July 08, 2006
I hope this makes my brother feel better...
My brother, who still lives in Vegas with his lovely wife, has had a rough couple of months. He blew out his knee again several weeks after having it surgically repaired. He had the surgery again last Friday and has had complications that are too numerous and unpleasant to mention here.

So, what can I do to ease my brother's pain, to let him know that, despite the distance between us, I'm still here for him no matter what? Well, I'm going to name him JULY'S RIGHT WING DOUCHEBAG OF THE MONTH!!!

"How could you?" some of you are thinking. What kind of a man would publicly disgrace his own brother during his time of healing? Well, he's been begging for this "honor" for months! Seriously, he was insulted when he didn't win it before. He hounded me constantly: "I'm much more of a douchebag than Clarence Thomas," he would say. I don't think that's true, but who am I to argue with him?

Yes, my brother is a staunch Conservative. We agreed several years ago to never discuss politics, and he isn't allowed to express his political beliefs on my blog. Yes, I censor him, because I don't want to have public arguments with my only sibling. It's distasteful, in my opinion.

Also, I didn't post his picture because he actually has a career and I don't want to ruin it by having it associated with this written train wreck.

Finally, comment all you want, but blood is thicker than blogger, and I will delete any personal attacks against my brother. He'd do the same for me.

Oh, for the sake of my own sanity, I have to post this:

It's a photo of Ken Lay.


17 Comments:

Blogger miss kendra said...

tell your brother i hope his knee gets better, and then i hope he can find a cure for that nasty elephantitis.

Hey bro, thank you for awarding me the great honor of being nominated your Right Wing Douchebag Of The Month for July. It has uplifted my spirit after it has been crushed and pounded into oblivion. Thankfully, the essence of my soul has been forged in life's crucible of pain and hate, kind of like Dick Cheney's! I look forward to getting better so I can regale you with tales of woe, and why I think you should adopt my near reactionary political policies! Thanks again for the prestigous award bro. Oh, and just for the record, I think Ken Lay was a disgrace of a human being.

Blogger katarina said...

I love you and I love your brother.

Get well soon. At least well enough to get up on your political soapbox. Just not in front of me.

Blogger MollyNormal said...

Todd, I wish your brother wasn't married. My dream is to marry a right-wing douchebag with a similar sense of humor to yours.

Blogger Claudia said...

Welcome back baby!

My apologies for being M.I.A. I was devising a plan to somehow get steaming poo all over a co-worker. Any suggestions?

Blogger Steve Caratzas said...

"Blood is thicker than blogger" - inspired!

Despite intense Googling, I can't seem to find any photos of Ken Lay in his cryogenic chamber, awaiting the day he can thaw out and fleece thousands of new unsuspecting souls. No way he's really dead.

Blogger Violet said...

Sorry to hear about your brother and his knee problem (my best wishes for a speedy recovery). For his sake, I hope to God it wasn't his *right* knee because that would smack of, well, conspiracy. And if you say he's an award-worthy douchebag, I'll take your word for it. No one spots a douchebag like you, Todd.

Blogger Tits McGee said...

I'm fucking pissed off at Ken Lay for dying before he could serve out some of his jail sentence. Fucker.

Blogger Rachel said...

I love you!

Blogger tlsd said...

yeah sorry to hear about your brothers political problem I hope he has a speedy recovery.. and he's not suffering too much with his poorly knee...

Seriously, he can't be that much of a douche if he's related to you...
(was that cheesy? I'm birthday-drunk sorry... hic... heeeheeeeheeeeheee)

Blogger tlsd said...

damn yahoo... get an msn account... pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease!!!!

Blogger Arbusto said...

This has to be the funniest idea I've read in a long while.

Are you equal opportunitist and rip on liberals who are idiots?

Blogger The real me said...

Public displays of anger and disagreement are so inappropriate...

WE WANT TO WITNESS IT!!

Blogger Shroom-Monkey said...

Ruin it, ruin it. That will be fun!

Blogger yournamehere said...

kendra,
that was kind of supportive of you.

vast,
I knew you weren't a fan of Ken Lay, dude.

kat,
you don't like any politics, huh?

molly,
Dennis Miller may be getting a divorce.

claudia,
don't ever leave me again!

steve,
yeah, he faked his death to avoid prison, and he used someone's pension to fund the operation.

violet,
no, I say he's not. He says he is.

tits,
I wanted him to be ass-raped at least once.

rachel,
I love you, baby.

tlsd,
I enjoy your drunken ramblings.

arbusto,
equal? Not really. I've riped on Ted Kennedy, and most celebrities are liberal, at least in theory.

real,
not gonna happen.

shroom,
it would be fun, but no, I'd better not.

Blogger Brookelina said...

Fine then, I won't try to kick your brother in the nuts. But only because I love you.

Blogger Egan said...

I think I saw your bro at the Ultimate Fight Championship 62, UFC, this weekend at Mandalay Bay. Is he into that stuff?

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