Thursday, May 31, 2007
It Must Be "State the Obvious" Day
I was sitting in front of the television watching ESPN, and when Sportscenter ended I decided to give the ladies some props and check out the NCAA Women's Softball Tournament. Everything was fine until a female announcer made this astute observation: "They call it softball, but the ball isn't soft."

Do they think I'm retarded? I immediately changed the channel to something that insults my intelligence a little less: It was a "Watch Guys Take One in the Ballbag" Edition of America's Funniest Home Videos.

I hope ESPN unleashes this brilliant announcer on every televised sport, just to see what she'll say.

"Footballs aren't really made of feet."

"Horses are terrible piano players."

"That sailboat isn't supposed to sink. Or be on fire."

"I think his four aces will beat a pair of threes. Uh, let me check..."

If they're going to let someone stupid appear on national television, my first choice would be Jessica Simpson.



15 Comments:

Blogger brookelina said...

When it rains, stuff gets wet.

Blogger miss kendra said...

when i am naked, i have no clothes on!

dodger dogs are not made of dodgers.

Blogger miss kendra said...

also jessica simpson?

why would you do this to me?

Blogger The Stormin Mormon said...

At least I would be fine watching her commentary on MUTE.

Blogger tfg said...

They call it women's softball, but most of them are hiding the candy.

Blogger Flounder said...

That's nearly as bad as Madden telling us that it's hard to get a good grip and throw the football in the rain because the ball gets so wet.

Blogger Crystal said...

funny bones are not funny

Blogger Crystal said...

i said bone

Blogger Cold Hands said...

well you WERE watching softball... what did you expect?

I wonder who you have to piss off at ESPN to be assigned to cover womens softball...

Blogger HighOnPoker said...

Regular lurking reader and poker blogger. I just wanted to say that the poker reference made my day. Yes, I'm a degenerate. Rock on!

It kinda reminds me of some of John Madden's color commentary: "For the Jets to win tonight, they're going to have to move the ball." Thanks, Madden! Now they can abandon their strategy to stay in the exact same field position for the entirety of the game!

Blogger Ćœbermilf said...

my uterus hurts.

Blogger Steph said...

All sports commentators are fucking deranged. If I watch sport (which is rare) I watch it with the sound off.

I don't need some kneelyknob to point out the friggin obvious.

Blogger Crackah Nonsense said...

what's a kneelyknob?

Blogger Nick said...

I would like to say that Dodger Dogs ARE, in fact, made of dodgers.

Blogger Ian McGibboney said...

Pain can really hurt.

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