Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Bye Bye Rove

Hey look, kids; it's a picture of Karl Rove showing a potential female suitor the size of his erect penis.

In case you haven't read it elsewhere, Rove is resigning at the end of the month. Karl Rove is commonly referred to as "Bush's Brain". Isn't being known as "Bush's Brain" kind of like being known as "Stephen Hawking's Legs"? Was that a cheap shot? I didn't think so.

So what's Karl Rove going to do with all of his free time? Well, he's rededicating himself to his first love: Killing sick children. As Rove told the Associated Press "When I think of all of the resources wasted on these gimpy little kids who probably aren't going to get better anyway, it just makes me want to vomit. I say kill them, and grind their bones to make my paperweights."

Of course, trying to convert the nation's Ronald McDonald Houses into death camps won't take all of Rove's time, so he also plans to learn to play the accordion.

Good luck, Human Personification of Pure Evil!


19 Comments:

Blogger Tracy said...

Sigh,
this is why your harem grows daily.

and i would believe that measurement is way too big for mr roves erect staff member.

Blogger Melissa said...

I really didn't want or need to know how big his erection is.

Dammit, now I have the bad twitches again.

Blogger Tits McGee said...

We must make out immediately.

He is going into biz with me and Newt. We are starting a line of luxury home furnishings made from the bones of poor people and those douchebags over at moveon.org

Blogger Nick said...

Are there actually any republicans left? I thought you guys all had an awakening and allied yourself with the non-cancerous party.

I suppose I can see the appeal of vocally supporting liars and murderers. I mean it worked out well for the Nazis.

Blogger Übermilf said...

Scott McClellan left, too.

Rats? Sinking Ship?

Also, I heard Karl Rove is moving to Louisville. Good luck with that.

Blogger Scarlet Hip said...

Hey, the money being wasted on those kids could go to a much more meaningful cause - helping out the poor oil companies who are struggling to make ends meet in these trying times.

Blogger Bizarro-Flounder said...

I love Karl Rove. He is the ultimate anti-hero.

Blogger April said...

A cheap shot? Maybe...but that's what I love ya for.

Blogger Nick said...

I don't think Flounder (bizarro or otherwise) knows what anti-hero means.

For your edification: an anti-hero is a central or supporting character that has some of the personality flaws traditionally assigned to villains but nonetheless also has enough heroic qualities or intentions to gain the sympathy of readers or viewers.

Karl Rove has no heroic qualities. No one feels sympathy for him. You're confusing anti-hero with villanous scum.

Blogger Bizarro-Flounder said...

He got Bush elected!

TWICE!

And he raps!

He is my hero, assclown.

Thanks for equating me to a Nazi, Nick.

Go have another glass of Kool-Aid.

Blogger Sysm said...

He's actually going dove hunting.

I crap you negative.

Dove. Hunting.

I'd call him a fuckwad, but I'm not entirely sure what that term means, exactly. And I know that I enjoy at least half of it.

And I don't want to enjoy anything with Karl. Okay. Maybe a Hot Karl.

Blogger Übermilf said...

I was just teasing about the Louisville thing.

Maybe after he kills some doves, he can burn some olive branches.

Blogger Stiletto said...

A cheap shot? no no, I'd say that was a great shot!

Blogger Scarlet Hip said...

It's amazing, but every conversation I've ever been involved with about Rove, the words "villainous scum," "nazi," and "assclown" almost always come up. Usually "depraved repugnant traitor" as well.

Blogger Nick said...

Vast - Your brother has compared me to Nazis before. This is me returning the favor. Also, defending Rove just makes it so damn easy.

Blogger yournamehere said...

tracy,
hey, let the dude "brag".

melissa,
do your boobs jiggle when you have the twitches? If so, the twitches aren't all bad.

tits,
I agree. And would you please be topless?

vast,
you won't like my birthday present: I've arranged for you to get a moveon.org tattoo at the Hart and Huntington inside the Palms.

nick,
I think some Holocaust survivors want to have a word with you. Perspective, my friend.

ubie,
these rich guys always move to somewhere near a private lake. However, the guy who played Dr. Smith on "Lost in Space" spent his final years in Louisville because his family lived here.

scarlet,
I'm disappointed that I'm paying less than three dollars a gallon. What of the Exxon stockholders? What shall they do?

flounder,
Karl Rove will not allow another man to love him, even in a non-sexual nature.

april,
you must really love me, because I'm all about the cheap shots.

nick,
thanks for the lesson. Too bad you weren't around to teach Alanis Morrisette about irony.

flounder,
in 2004, he had an assist from the ball-less fuck ups who run the Democratic Party.

vast,
in all fairness to Nick, I did send him a picture of you in which I photoshopped a square moustache under your lip. Okay, not really...he's just being an ass.

And I don't necessarily think Rove is a Nazi, but come on, he even spells his first name Nazi-style.

sysm,
those Doves are a threat to our freedoms.

ubie,
or beat the doves to death with olive branches.

stiletto,
thanks for the encouragement.

scarlet,
oh, I forgot. When he and the Vice President leaked the identity of a federal agent, they became traitors, didn't they? When can I watch their executions on youtube?

nick,
funny, because you chastised me before for censoring vast's opinions. You've also defended Flounder against vicious personal attacks. Your duality is giving me a headache.

Blogger Melissa said...

That's really small, Karl. Perhaps you should keep that to yourself.

But the accordian? Rock on, man.

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