Tuesday, July 24, 2007
It isn't even funny anymore
Yep, Lindsay Lohan was arrested again Tuesday morning, for drunken driving and cocaine possession. Less than two weeks removed from another failed stint in rehab, she's in big trouble.

In the past I've had a lot of fun at Lohan's expense. I coined the term stumblecunt to describe her inability to walk a straight line. I wondered aloud why she was allowed to get publicity intoxicated in posh clubs at the age of nineteen. I noted her physical transformation from Mean Girls hottie to walking skeleton. Well, the jokes stop here. This chick is seriously fucked up.

Someone, anyone, needs to stop treating this girl like a movie star and start treating her like an average twenty-one-year-old addict. If not, she'll be dead within the year. The people who allegedly love her need to stop using her as a meal ticket or they'll be picking out her fucking casket. She needs MANDATORY rehab, in a tough place filled with non-celebrity addicts. I hope there's a judge in Los Angeles who isn't a starfucker and will sentence her accordingly.

I wish the best for Lindsay Lohan. I hope she kicks her addictions so I can go back to making fun of her appalling lack of talent.


18 Comments:

Blogger miss kendra said...

<3 todd.

this is spot on. someone needs to help her (and probably britney too.)

this sort of reminds me of a lengthy serial post on kevin smith's blog about jay's problems with drugs.

i hope she gets help.

Blogger brookelina said...

At least she doesn't have children - like the Britney. I wish they would both find people who could just say no to them. It would do them both a world of good.

Blogger brookelina said...

P.S. How come you're being all sympathetic and shit?

Blogger Shannon said...

If getting your name on headline news three times in a week for drunk driving and coke isn't a cry for help, I really don't know what is. What a shame.

Blogger Tits McGee said...

It's not funny and I so love you for writing this. Her drunken slut of a mother and her media-grubbing whore of a father should be beaten mercilessly for letting her get to this point.

Blogger yournamehere said...

Everyone, I realize there are A LOT of people who have it much worse than Lindsay Lohan. However, I haven't used them as walking punchlines for the last few years.

Carry on.

Blogger Kate said...

sucks for her. at least she looked pretty in her mugshot. kinda like her mom.

Blogger Jeannie said...

Take away the money - they're just messed up homeless people.

Blogger Tracy said...

Someone had to pick up where Robert Downey Jr left off....

Blogger Johnny Yen said...

I was telling someone yesterday after hearing the news-- I can't even make fun of it, it's so pathetic. I agree about the people around her. I saw a quote a few weeks ago, where her mother called her something like "My first success," (she was referring to her presumed second success, Lohan's brother). Success? I will consider myself a successful parent when my two kids are functioning adults.

Blogger Flounder said...

Who the fuck wrote that post?

Blogger blog Portland said...

I'm willing to give her a once over. You know, for the sake of society.

Blogger Spinning Girl said...

Yes. It's impossible to be amused by someone in such deep trouble.

Blogger Flounder said...

You're wrong. It's still a little funny.

Blogger Zazzu said...

I couldn't care less if Lohan self-destructs. Adults get to make choices and face consequences for them.

If she hurts or kills someone else....THAT would be tragic.

All booze should contain birth control.

I agree that this situation is not amusing, though. It's too damn scary.

Blogger Ćœbermilf said...

She's in pain and mentally ill and nobody close to her seems to love her.

With all due respect, not everything is a "choice." Or, sometimes what she's trying to do is to finally get someone to give a fuck about her. It's like a suicide attempt.

Blogger Steph said...

Well said. The chick has serious issues and needs to be locked up for her own protection.

Blogger Sysm said...

thank you, todd.

nice post.

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