Tuesday, July 17, 2007
I'll Answer Questions. I'll Ask Questions
Leave me a comment saying “Interview me.”
I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions. If you don't have a valid email address on your blog, please provide one.
You will update your blog with a post containing your answers to the questions.
You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

I've been interviewed by my friend Erin.

1. Choose or Die: lose your hearing or lose your sight? Explain your choice.

Well, they would both suck; but I would choose to lose my hearing. With sight, I could still drive and ogle the pretty girls.

2. Which do you consider the greater moral transgression: stealing cable or taking more than 3 pennies from the "take a penny, leave a penny" tray?

I consider cable theft a basic right of all Americans. I especially hate Insight Cable and their attempts to portray themselves as a local mom-and-pop company. This isn't a choice of buying fresh baked goods from a local artisan or purchasing once-frozen cakes from a grocery chain. Insight is as much of a money-grubbing monopoly as Time-Warner Cable, only with technology that will always be a few years behind. Truly the worst of both worlds. Steal away, Louisville!

3. You wake up in the morning and discover you've been turned into a Scottish Hairy Cow. ( http://www.pbase.com/image/942030.jpg ) What do you do first?

I pretty much look like that now, so it would be business as usual, baby.

4. What's your dream profession? Are you working towards it or is it just a fantasy?

My dream profession would be successful novelist. Fiction, of course, because research is for suckers. Of course, I'm doing absolutely nothing to make this a reality.

5. If you were going to be on This American Life, what would be the theme of the show?

Sadly, I'm afraid the theme would people "Folks Who Have Wasted Their Lives But Really Aren't So Bad Once You've Gotten to Know Them". Or maybe "Dorky White Guys Who Are Still Perplexed by the Band Belly's Lack of Commercial Success". Either way, I predict low ratings.

There you have it.


Blogger Nick said...

interview me. interview me long and hard.

Blogger brookelina said...

Do me! Do me long time!

Anonymous Anonymous said...

very funny.

interview me!

Blogger Melissa said...

I totally want a Scottish Hairy Cow.

I also want you to interview me. :)

Blogger Tits McGee said...


Now quit ogling me and bring it on, baby.

Blogger Tits McGee said...

Oh, also, honey? Someone just found my blog by Googling "where to go in vegas to look at tits and eat steak."

I'll defer to you on that one.

Blogger Übermilf said...

I desperately crave attention. Please bring on the questions.

Blogger Rachel said...

How about I answer one of your questions, where am (was) I?

When sugar? In the photos? At that time? Right now?

Get back to me!


Blogger miss kendra said...

that cow is cute.

also, i guess i'll be interviewed.

Blogger Gerald said...

How come that cow only has three legs? Do you only have three legs?

Blogger Nick said...

ha ha. nice rib with the Belly comment... After pondering my criticism of your previous post, I've decided it was definitely a wasted effort. Like you're going to change your basic human nature. And I don't even want you to. Your scathing angst and unrelenting negativity is what drives the comedy gold this site has presented since day one. On the other hand, I did enjoy being put in my place via your reply to my comments. It's rare that anyone in ANY medium says I have "a lot of nerve." And how did you know I live in a glass house? I may have to move now. One of these nights we'll have to bury the hatchet and visit one of those places where people "make it rain."

Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

Interview me! Interview me!

Blogger Flounder said...

interview me.


Blogger Jo said...

I don't have a real blog with which to fulfill all of your requirements, but I'm desperate for attention... so interview me!

Blogger Gwen said...

I like how you said "successful novelist" instead of just "novelist." Smart.

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