Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Dumb Conversations I've Had, Part 1
Today I'd like to introduce a new feature, Dumb Conversations I've Had. The year was 2003. The place was the Henderson, Nevada location of the since-defunct retail albatross Organized Living. The antagonist was a newly-hired cashier, a twenty-one-year-old female and rare lifelong Las Vegas area native.

chick: "So where are you from originally?"

me: "Louisville, Kentucky."

chick: "Did you have indoor plumbing growing up?" (She went there immediately).

me: "Nope. Thank god the sophisticated state of Nevada saved me from the outhouse."

chick: "God, that must have been terrible."

me: "Yeah. Wooden toilet seats are awful. I've had more splinters in my butt than Howdy Dooody's longtime companion."

chick: "Who the fuck is Howdy Doody?"

Tune in again next time for another installment of Dumb Conversations I've Had.


Blogger brookelina said...

I once had a conversation with a guy about why old ladies always carry around Kennedy half-dollars.

No really, I did.

Blogger Legal Goddess said...

I was once talking with a guy about a mutual friend who was going to study abroad in Europe. I mentioned casually that she was going to London, he said "No, thats not right. She's going to England."

Blogger blog Portland said...

Wow, I think that's one of the few bathroom scenarios I had never considered working Howdy Doody into.

Blogger Ćœbermilf said...

David Soul.

Too damn funny.

Blogger Doola! said...

The fact that she took your comment about "the sophisticated state of Nevada" at face value is, you have to admit, pretty gawtdamn funny. I guess if you never left Las Vegas in your life, you might not realize that Nevada has rednecks that would put anything outside of true inbred hillbilly country to shame.

I mean...when the most cosmopolitan city your state has to offer outside of the nearly-foreign-country Vegas is Reno, f'godssake, that's really saying something...

Blogger Ian McGibboney said...

Ha ha! This is my new favortie feature of Feathered Mullet.

These days, when people ask me where I'm from, I say, "Louisiana and YES, I know I don't sound like the Waterboy and no I'm not going to rob you of your plasma TV." It's poetic how I've worked all that into one word so that no one has time to ask.

Blogger miss kendra said...

butt splinters are SERIOUS BIZNEZ todd. don't mock those who still suffer!

Blogger Cold Hands said...

people are idiots.

but you already knew that.

Blogger Joe said...

After telling a lady of my former aquaintence about some of my travels across this continent, she exclaimed: "Wow, your quite an exhibitionist."

Blogger Mama en Fuego said...

So did you?


Blogger yournamehere said...

I don't believe you. No one is that weak.

legal goddess,
that hurts my head.

blog portland,
that's why I'm here.

yes, that inspired countless dumb conversations, didn't it?

doc monk,
and true. and stupid.

early on I went off on people, saying "Louisville has museums and an arts center and an orchestra and a nationally recognized regional theatre, etc." but it was like talking to the wall, so I gave up.

but was Howdy Doody a generous lover?

cold hands,
I'm beaten by the club of stupidity every day of my life.

your pants weren't unzipped at the time, were they?

mama en,
there was a beer depot in my old neighborhood. That's as hillbilly as it got.

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