Friday, June 15, 2007
Speak of the German She-Devil...
The sex-crazed elderly German woman from my last post is in the news again; hopefully for the last time.

Yesterday she came into the store reeking of garlic-infused martinis, then proceeded to DEMAND that we sell her an $11.49 24-pack of Milwaukee's Best for ten dollars.

A number of employees, myself included, tried as delicately as possible to remind this woman that she wasn't at a quaint village swap-meet in the old country (nor was she at a swap-MEAT, so we all protected our franks-n-beans). She kept interrupting us with childhood tales of fighting her eleven brothers for scraps of bread. Understandably, she was quiet about her days as a flopper at an Officer's Club at Auschwitz. Okay, that last bit is just a guess on my part.

Despite her tales of euro-woe, we don't haggle with customers over prices. This is a retail store, after all, so an assistant manager told her she'd have to pay the posted price. She then became quite irate, yelling in fractured English that we wouldn't want to lose her as a customer.

When she didn't get her way, she hit the "expensive" case of beer with her cane and stormed out, promising to never return.

The entire staff then began to celebrate. NO ONE WANTS HER BACK! Do you know what it's like when a hated customer says she's not coming back? It's like a schoolyard bully telling you he's never going to take your lunch money again. Or the government saying "We don't like you, so we aren't taking taxes from you anymore." It's a reason for celebration, bitches.


9 Comments:

Blogger Cold Hands said...

Did you guys chip in the $11.49 and crack open the case of Milwauklee's Best in celebration? ;)

Damn them for not letting you drink on the job...

Blogger Johnny Yen said...

Yeah, unfortunately they usually don't keep their promise.

At my part-time waitering job, there is a couple who come in regularly. They sit and drink 5-10 martinis and get pissed drunk. A couple of years ago, they decided they didn't like me and started giving me a hard time. No matter how many times I checked on them, it was only the moment I was away at the table that they urgently needed something (usually another drink). They complained to the bartender, who also functioned as the manager, and told him that my service was always terrible and that they were never coming in again. He of course knew their story and ignored them. Unfortunately, they were back regularly in a couple of weeks, and never mentioned it again.

Blogger Blonde said...

does anyone see that the crime here is that anyone would want to drink milwaukee Best and that anyone could charge $11.49 for it?!?!?!?!

I would sooner drink cat piss... but would grab guys cash & prizes any chance I get too.

Blogger Tracy said...

Iche habe lieb fur die franks und beans.

Blogger Crackah Nonsense said...

Some people like any attention, even negative. I suspect she's lonely as well as crazy, and raised that ruckus over $1.49 just to make a scene and get all the store's attention for those few minutes. Somehow, that's sadder than the actual event. But what do I know. Goddamn armchair psychologist. Shut up. No, you shut up. Make it stop.

Blogger Nick said...

Oh that's terrible, no more stories about this horrifying woman will just not do.

Blogger Tits McGee said...

You tell such pretty stories.

Now let me grab your junk.

Blogger Princess Pointful said...

At least she didn't pull an Arrested Development and flash her tits at you while shouting "Say goodbye to these!" before she left.

Blogger Mama en Fuego said...

ROFLMAO!!! I once had a pissed off customer tell me was going to have me fired, I laughed in his face and said good luck with that (it was my last day BIATCH!)

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