The other day at work I saw two older women who were dressed like they were reenacting a scene from the movie What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? A woman wearing an oversized babydoll dress and too much makeup was pushing her wheelchair-bound, matronly-dressed sister all through the liquor store.
I wanted to know more about their circumstances. Was the woman in the babydoll dress a former child star turned alcoholic has-been? Was she cruel and oppressive to the woman in the wheelchair? I'll never know.
WHEN BLOG STORIES COLLIDE
Recently two subjects of past DWAFM blog posts met in a most horrifying manner. The subjects: The perverted old German woman in this post, and the skinny stoner coworker illustrated in this story.
Most of us literally RUN when we see the perverted old German woman. The only person who makes employees scramble more than her is the old lady who wears boxer shorts as an outer garment and smells like a cat pissed on a dirty shoe. Well, my coworker, "Shaggy", didn't see her coming. As I peered around a corner, she trapped him against a vodka display and asked, in her thick accent, "Why do you wear your pants so loose?"
This guy is six feet tall and weighs about 120 lbs. "Loose" is his only option.
He replied, nervously, "Because they're comfortable I guess."
"Do you have large testicles?" she asked as she reached down and fondled his junk.
Well, my cover was blown when I actually fell to the ground laughing. Shaggy walked away as the crazy nut-kneader yelled after him, "Hasn't anyone ever felt your testicles before?"
Not someone old enough to be his grandmother, I'm fairly sure.
Then the woman calmly finished her shopping, tried to get our store manager to give her free samples, and paid for her purchases. She definitely benefited from the ol' double standard. Imagine if a lecherous old man had walked into our store and grabbed a pair of tits. I doubt "Hasn't anyone ever felt your boobies before?" would have gone over very well.