Saturday, August 11, 2007
Things that are pissing me off lately
-I've never been a Pittsburgh Steelers fan, but I have begrudging respect for what was until now a proud franchise. Hall of Fame linebacker Jack Lambert once played an entire half of a football game on a broken leg, for the sake of fuck. But now they've entered the world of lame-ass mascots with the unfortunately named Steely McBeam. That's right, Steely McBeam. The mascot of the five-time World Champion Pittsburgh Steelers has a name fit for a male porn star. When I first heard the name, I thought to myself "Isn't he the main reason Jenna Jameson only does girl-on-girl now?"

-Apparently the hip new thing to do if you're an overprivileged suburban faux thug is to order a beverage from a fast food drive-thru, yell "Fire in the hole" and throw the beverage back at the fast food worker. Of course this entire heinous act is filmed, because what's the point of doing anything in life if it won't make you a star on youtube? To make it worse, there's even an online "recipe" that tells the douchepunks what to add to the beverage to make it sting the worker's eyes!

One day some spoiled little shit is going to get seriously hurt by an irate victim of this little stunt. In my opinion, it can't happen soon enough! In fact, I hereby declare war on upper middle class teenagers. The next time I see a sixteen-year-old kid yapping on his iphone while walking across the mall parking lot to a luxury car he couldn't possibly afford on his own, I'm chucking a milkshake at the motherfucker. Let's fly that up the youtube flag and see who salutes.

-Before September 11, 2001, Rudy Giuliani was about as popular among New Yorkers as a tourist who takes a long time to order at a deli. But Rudy, to his credit, said all the right things in the aftermath of the attacks, and has been living on that goodwill ever since.

Well, now he's gone and fucked up the only thing he had going for him (By the way, I'm taking these quotes directly from the Fox News website, so there's no liberal bias THIS time).

From Fox: Guiliani said, "I was at Ground Zero as often, if not more, than most of the workers. ... I was there working with them. I was exposed to exactly the same things they were exposed to."

A New York City fire captain whose son — also a firefighter — was killed in the attacks said — "That's insulting and disgraceful. He's a liar. I was down there on my hands and knees looking for my son. [Giuliani is] living in a dreamland."

A Queens paramedic who was a first responder added — "I personally find that very, very insulting. Standing there doing a photo-op and telling the men, 'You're doing a good job,' I don't consider that to be working."

Ouch. I think he made those guys mad. When you piss on the graves of people's family and co-workers, they tend to react negatively.



11 Comments:

Blogger Scarlet Hip said...

I used to date Steely McBeam. He does not live up to his name.

Blogger Tracy said...

Rudy is such a collossal douchebag he probably pisses Summers Eve.

Blogger Rachel said...

You don't write, you don't visit...


I think I feel sick!


*sob*


;)

I'm developing a man crush on you dude. You seem to be as misanthropic as me.

Blogger Nick said...

Hey Rudy! Get fucked.

--

Monkey Impostor Alert!

Blogger Übermilf said...

Ha ha... let's go harrass the peasants in daddy's Lexus. It'll be such jolly fun.

Wasn't Steely McBeam a band in the 70's?

And Guiliani? I'd like to see a horde of angry, babushka-clad grannies kicking him and hitting him over the head with their umbrellas while shouting obscenities at him. I'm not sure why.

Blogger Johnny Yen said...

Rudy's given credit for his "brilliant" performance after 9/11. I don't understand how walking around looking concerned constitutes "brilliance." The average character actor could have done well. I'd suggest Sam Waterston or Mark Harmon.

Everybody forgets that before 9/11, he was winding his days down to the end of his administration after an ugly divorce (he announced it in a news conference, without telling his wife), and all kinds of other scandals.

Blogger Vaudeville Guy said...

That McBeam fella's got the chiseled features of a young Errol Flynn.

Blogger Bizarro-Flounder said...

I hate to correct you my good man, but I believe that you are thinking of the Ram's Jack Youngblood.

Blogger la dolce said...

Guiliani needs to go slip in a puddle of AIDS.

Blogger Kate said...

damn. why'd he have to go and eff it up? ugh.

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