Friday, August 03, 2007
Who needs cartoons when there's real life?
Friday had a distinct cartoonish vibe to it. First of all, one of our cashiers, who looks just like Francine, the bully who terrorizes Lisa Simpson, called in and gave her zero day notice.

Here's a transcript of the phone conversation.

"Francine": "Todd, I quit. I got a job at a hospital."

Me: "As what, a CPR dummy?"

"Francine": *CLICK*

Me: "Bitch hung up on me."

Earlier in the day, we had a female customer (yes, a woman) who - minus the beard - looked, dressed, and talked EXACTLY like Stinky Pete the Prospector from Toy Story 2.

Yes, she had the oversized cowboy hat. Yes, she had the overalls. Yes, she had the rotund figure.

I wanted to ask if there was a Toy Story Fest I wasn't aware of, but she was apparently late for a rootin' tootin' roundup; she didn't stick around for long.

Hell, with the war in Iraq still going on, I'm just glad I didn't see the Little Man From the Draft Board.


Blogger Tracy said...

did you have to douse yourself in salad dressing to keep Francine from kicking your ass?

Blogger eric313 said...

You are a god. I laughed my ass off, and now I'm screwed till it grows back. What the hell am I supposed to sit on all day while being a writer?

Frst time responder. I read you though. Princess Poinfull introduced the blog and I stole the link a while back.

"Well now, I wouldn't say that."

Blogger Steph said...

LMAO! Great quip to Francine. I think she was really feeling the love from you right there.

Blogger brookelina said...

Have I told you lately that I worship you?

Blogger Rachel said...

Stinky Pete?

I think I know that guy.

Have good days!

Blogger Ćœbermilf said...

Can I have Francine's job?

The older I get, the more I resemble the Little Man from the Draft Board. One more tick on the "Reasons to Eat a Bullet" side of the sheet. Thanks, man.

Blogger yournamehere said...

no, I just threatened to have her hours cut.

use a medical pillow.

that's a cartoon classic.

she was a moron. No doubt she'll cause numerous patients to die just from answering the phone.

"In Todd We Trust" is on all of your money.

you have some good days yourself, sweetie.

sure. You start Wednesday. Show up at nine AM eastern time.

you're much taller.

Blogger Kate said...


you're my hero.

Blogger Nick said...

Little man from the draft board? Really? How can you possibly be able to reference that?

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