This is all over the internet, but I think I saw it here first. Anyway, here it goes.
1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT?
Physical scars or emotional scars? Survey, you need to be more specific.
2. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
True love or a pizza. Either way.
3. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN?
In the middle of the night on a Friday.
4. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD?
All of my G.I. Joe action figures and accessories.
5. THE BEST TV SHOW EVER CREATED:
The Sopranos, especially seasons One thru Four.
6. THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO?
Server at Cumberland Brews.
7. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK?
No, because I'm older than six.
8. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY?
The American voting public, November 2004.
9. HOW MANY WISDOM TEETH DO YOU HAVE?
Well, the bottom two were yanked out. So two.
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOGNE / PERFUME?
That shit Britney Spears sells. I love the smell of 'has been before thirty' in the morning.
11. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
I really like dark hair and light eyes, but it isn't that important.
12. WOULD YOU RATHER BE SMART OR FUNNY?
If you're funny enough, people assume (sometimes incorrectly) that you're smart.
13. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINKS?
Coffee. Energy drinks smell like vagrant puke.
14. IF YOU COULD EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Impellizzeri's pizza.
15. WHO IS THE LAST PERSON YOU MADE MAD?
Judging by my life, it had to have been God.
16. DO YOU SPEAK ANOTHER LANGUAGE?
I speak Midwestern United States, Southern United States, and Nevadan.
17. DO YOU LIKE SOMEONE?
Yes, but it seems she doesn't like me. Big surprise.
18. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING?
Of course. I'm a sucker for misery.
19. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU?
Don't jizz in her hair.
20. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST?
The aggressively stupid.
21. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF THE U.S.?
Canada. So no, I haven't.
22. YOUR WEAKNESSES?
When my hair is cut I lose my super strength.
23. IF YOU COULD GET PLASTIC SURGERY WHAT WOULD IT BE?
It would be a waste of time.
24. WHY DID YOU FILL OUT THIS SURVEY?
Hello? I have to blog every fucking day this month.
25. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT?
Only when I'm sober.
26. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST?
My collection of sea shells.
27. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF ALCOHOL BECAME ILLEGAL?
Move to where it was still legal.
28. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT?
None or four. Can't decide.
29. WHERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
I was allegedly named after a character on the tv show Route 66. His friend's name was Buzz, so I guess it could be worse.
30. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY?
Enough of this 'cry' bullshit.
31. ANY BAD HABITS?
A better question would be "ANY GOOD HABITS?"
32. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
No. Fat guys always take the last piece of pizza.
33. DO YOU KNOW ANYONE FAMOUS?
I went to high school with this guy who later played in the NFL. But he didn't know me.
34. DO LOOKS MATTER?
Not as much as the ability to rock out!
35. HOW DO YOU RELEASE YOUR ANGER?
I sing in a tabernacle choir.
36. DO YOU TRUST OTHERS EASILY?
Not since the Crystal Pepsi Fiasco.
37. FAVORITE THOUGHT PROVOKING SONG:
Who Let the Dogs Out? Because really, who let 'em out?
38. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR?
Super Bowl Sunday. Or the Saturday of Lebowski Fest.
39. FAVORITE EXPRESSION?
One of bemused resignation.
1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT?
Physical scars or emotional scars? Survey, you need to be more specific.
2. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
True love or a pizza. Either way.
3. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN?
In the middle of the night on a Friday.
4. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD?
All of my G.I. Joe action figures and accessories.
5. THE BEST TV SHOW EVER CREATED:
The Sopranos, especially seasons One thru Four.
6. THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO?
Server at Cumberland Brews.
7. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK?
No, because I'm older than six.
8. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY?
The American voting public, November 2004.
9. HOW MANY WISDOM TEETH DO YOU HAVE?
Well, the bottom two were yanked out. So two.
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOGNE / PERFUME?
That shit Britney Spears sells. I love the smell of 'has been before thirty' in the morning.
11. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
I really like dark hair and light eyes, but it isn't that important.
12. WOULD YOU RATHER BE SMART OR FUNNY?
If you're funny enough, people assume (sometimes incorrectly) that you're smart.
13. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINKS?
Coffee. Energy drinks smell like vagrant puke.
14. IF YOU COULD EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Impellizzeri's pizza.
15. WHO IS THE LAST PERSON YOU MADE MAD?
Judging by my life, it had to have been God.
16. DO YOU SPEAK ANOTHER LANGUAGE?
I speak Midwestern United States, Southern United States, and Nevadan.
17. DO YOU LIKE SOMEONE?
Yes, but it seems she doesn't like me. Big surprise.
18. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING?
Of course. I'm a sucker for misery.
19. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU?
Don't jizz in her hair.
20. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST?
The aggressively stupid.
21. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF THE U.S.?
Canada. So no, I haven't.
22. YOUR WEAKNESSES?
When my hair is cut I lose my super strength.
23. IF YOU COULD GET PLASTIC SURGERY WHAT WOULD IT BE?
It would be a waste of time.
24. WHY DID YOU FILL OUT THIS SURVEY?
Hello? I have to blog every fucking day this month.
25. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT?
Only when I'm sober.
26. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST?
My collection of sea shells.
27. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF ALCOHOL BECAME ILLEGAL?
Move to where it was still legal.
28. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT?
None or four. Can't decide.
29. WHERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
I was allegedly named after a character on the tv show Route 66. His friend's name was Buzz, so I guess it could be worse.
30. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY?
Enough of this 'cry' bullshit.
31. ANY BAD HABITS?
A better question would be "ANY GOOD HABITS?"
32. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
No. Fat guys always take the last piece of pizza.
33. DO YOU KNOW ANYONE FAMOUS?
I went to high school with this guy who later played in the NFL. But he didn't know me.
34. DO LOOKS MATTER?
Not as much as the ability to rock out!
35. HOW DO YOU RELEASE YOUR ANGER?
I sing in a tabernacle choir.
36. DO YOU TRUST OTHERS EASILY?
Not since the Crystal Pepsi Fiasco.
37. FAVORITE THOUGHT PROVOKING SONG:
Who Let the Dogs Out? Because really, who let 'em out?
38. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR?
Super Bowl Sunday. Or the Saturday of Lebowski Fest.
39. FAVORITE EXPRESSION?
One of bemused resignation.
9 Comments:
i especially enjoyed numbers 7, 22 and 36.
I wouldn't care if you took the last piece of pizza.
Yeah! Who did let the dogs out!
My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard...
i'm stealing this...
I rather relate to # 39 lately.
I feel as though I've lost some strength ever since my grandma got pissed off at me for getting drunk on Thanksgiving and cut my hair.
I had planned on never cutting it again (which was also pissing her off) but she took the scissors to it and whacked off about 6 inches in one swipe, and there was nothing I could do. She is stronger than me.
I'm pretty sure I will never forgive her.
don't know which is funnier:
"Energy drinks smell like vagrant puke." or
"Don't jizz in her hair."
seriously, dude, you are hilarious!
Let's snuggle.
19. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU?
Don't jizz in her hair.
And if you hate her, get it in her eye!
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