Saturday, November 24, 2007
A moral dillema from yesteryear
When I was in college I knew a girl named Juliet who was without a doubt the best looking woman I've ever seen in person. Ever. The person in second place is Janet Reno compared to this young lady.

Anyway, I met Juliet because she was dating a friend of a friend. She thought I was funny *sigh* so she'd always hang out with my group of friends at our dork table in the student center.

Sometimes, and by sometimes I mean most of the time, a few of us would skip class to go to her dorm room and drink bourbon. Nothing beats midday boozing in a small enclosed space in the presence of the best looking human to ever walk the earth. Well, I could think of something better...but more on that later.

One day a friend of mine and I are in her room and Juliet announces that she has to get ready for her aerobics class. Yes, she got college credits for working out, courtesy of a mediocre commuter school also known as the University of Louisville. I'm sipping on my bourbon and coke when I glance up and see Juliet standing there completely naked. Unfortunately, this wasn't "fuck me" naked, it was "I have no boundaries" naked; but still, I got a serious look at her goods.

As the semester progressed, I got a sense that this girl would have had sex with me, but I did nothing because she was dating someone I knew.

God damn, what a solid gold moron I was! I haven't seen that dude in years. I barely remember what he looked like. I don't remember his last name, for fuck's sake. And Juliet, according to many sources, cheated on him all the time. I was told by more than one person that all I had to do was say the word and she would have made my dreams come true.

Or maybe I did the right thing. I didn't betray someone, and I didn't pick up a nasty social disease from the university pincushion. What do you think?

I don't regret hanging out with her, though. She laughed at all of my jokes and always had a bottle of bourbon in her room. I've never been the type of guy who thinks a slutty person equals a bad person.

I hate this post. Damn you, NaBloPoMo!


Blogger Jeannie said...

I hate all my posts.

I think you did the right thing. Why? because Juliet will always remember you as that fun guy who didn't use her. You can bet she'd been sexually abused when she was young and the fact that you respected both her (setting boundaries where she had none) and your friend says oodles about your character.

And if you'd fucked her, you would still have gotten horny again anyway.

Blogger Übermilf said...

jeannie is right.

You did the right thing!

You should however hook up with Janet Reno. I bet she'd give you a night you'd never forget.

Blogger Scarlet Hip said...

Should have fucked her.

I think you should have shagged her rotten. No, actually you did do the right thing.

Write about Will Bird you SumBitch.

Blogger Al Sensu said...

I would have done the same thing.

We're both fucking losers.

Blogger John said...

Remember Wombat from Church Camp? I don't think I ever heard her real name. Not once. Was this chick anything like her, only not gorgeous?

Blogger Tits McGee said...

Speaking as a former pincushion, I feel compelled to mention that I find it a bit presumptuous to jump to the conclusion that Juliet was damaged goods. Some of us just happen to like being naked and having a lot of sex. Sexual promiscuity is not always indicative of dysfunction.

I do so love you for being the nice guy, Todd, though I find your choice to not betray your friend far more laudable than your choice to not have sex with the pretty girl with no boundaries. Because, honestly, I totally would have fucked her.

Blogger miss kendra said...

i love you tmcg.

Blogger Windrider said...


I was just writing tonight on the ones that got away....

You and I both were self-chumped! That is all there is to it.

The sweet mountain honey was there waiting for the collecting. And as we have found out at our ages: the honey never collected is honey never savored!

But, alas, my brother... Chalk it up to stored Karma.

Blogger Übermilf said...

The difference to me, Tits, is that she she just stood there naked waiting to be "taken advantage of" instead of saying, "Let's get it on, big guy!"

I expect more honesty from healthy people. Maybe I'm just an idealist.

Blogger Tits McGee said...

Exhibitionism is unhealthy?

And who said she was waiting to be taken advantage of?

I've taken my clothes off plenty of times in front of people I had no intention of bedding, just to be provocative. Or just because I felt like it. Or, hell, just because I needed to change my clothes and I happened to have people in the room with me at the time.

And sometimes I've taken my clothes off in the hope that, yes, I might be taken advantage of. I'm not sure why that's somehow less okay than the times I've taken my clothes off and invited whoever was present to hop on. I mean, I do generally prefer being a bottom to being a top. Does that make me unhealthy?

I guess I just feel like it's too easy to rush to judgment about this girl's sexual history or psychological health.

What in the hell is NaBloPoMo?

Blogger KT said...

awww you were a good boy even then. how cute.

wanna come over to my place and have some bullet and gingerale? lol.

Blogger Übermilf said...

Sure, let's not rush to judgment.

But to strut around naked in front of a heterosexual guy (not in an entertainment venue) just to be "provocative" strikes me as cruel.

You did the right thing. Especially if you think about it like this: If you were dating her, would you have wanted the other guy to have banged her?

Blogger Dr. Chingasa said...

You did the wrong thing. Our nice-guy list of poon-missed eats at us for the rest of our lives. In fact, I think you should look her up, fill her in on the decades worth of angst, and then demand pity-sex!

Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

This could be your chance to become a stalker.

Blogger Hot Lemon said...

There's a great story from Bill Bryson about the same sort of thing when he was about 10-- he made good friends with this beautiful-but-conservative girl, and when he goes on a week long vacation he comes back to find out that she stripped buck nekkid for his friends.

Dude, I feel yer pain, but lookit the bright side, you got to see her starkers, an' that should count for something, right??

Blogger Cold Hands said...

I am so offended right now.

You totally should have fucked her. I'm just sayin'

Blogger Nick said...

You should have nailed her. That being said, I would have done what you did.

Blogger Rachel Schell said...

what if you meet Juliet again some day? maybe she will tell you she always loved you for being such a gentleman and then you will fall in love and have babies.

I watch too many romantic comedies....

Blogger NotSoccer Mom said...

eh, what's done (or not done) makes you who you are today. sounds like you're a man with scruples. cool!

Blogger NotSoccer Mom said...

eh, what's done (or not done) makes you who you are today. sounds like you're a man with scruples. cool!

Blogger insertyournamehere said...

You ASSBAG!!! You'll be cursed with wondering what it could have been like for the rest of your misrable life. But then maybe she was a horrable lay. Think how bad that would have been if the hottest chick in the world lay there like a dead fish and then used her teeth on the descent. UGHHH.

So in essance I guess...oh hell whatever.

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