Friday, November 23, 2007
I need to leave the customer service industry
This evening I was at work and this guy stood right in the front of the store just beyond the check out lanes and farted loudly for forty-five straight seconds. This was a Peter Griffin on Family Guy fart. It was truly a nuanced expulsion, starting loud then fading, but slowly building to an ear-shattering conclusion. And it sounded wet. Really wet

The guy turned around and saw me staring at him in horrified disbelief. His only response was a goofy half-grin, so I said the first thing that came to mind:

"You have got to be fucking kidding me."

He didn't respond because I don't think he spoke English, so I just walked away before the smell got to me.

Even if he does speak English, I doubt he'll complain about me. What is he going to say? "Yeah, one of your employees was very rude to me when I almost shit my pants in your store."


14 Comments:

Blogger miss kendra said...

good god. people are disgusting.

happy belated thanksgiving btw.

Blogger Steph said...

Haaaaahaha! You should have given him a rating out of ten.

I was at the grocery the other day and an old lady "crop dusted" me. This lady was older than Methusala, and the smell would have rolled a dog off a gut wagon.

Blogger Scooter Deb said...

I don't know why, but I can't stop laughing.

Seriously.

Blogger Rachel Schell said...

lmao! some people crack me up!!

Blogger Jean said...

Crazy

Blogger Ćœbermilf said...

you should keep a spray can of lysol or oust or Febreeze behind the counter for occasions like this.

Scrooge. How could you not enjoy the gift of his rich farty goodness?

Blogger John said...

You're lucky to have escaped with your life. Did you ever read Stephen King's Dreamcatcher (or see the crappy movie)? Those long juicy ones are the last stage before the alien bad asses get ya.

Blogger Dale said...

That's the biggest laugh I've had today. I'm just glad he didn't laugh like Peter might have.

Blogger Tits McGee said...

Oh, Todd, you're killing me, baby.

Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

Louisville board of tourism should pay you.

Blogger E Flo said...

Nice.
This crazy lady blew her nose in my check out lane for like 5 mintues and then asked me if she could give me the tissue to throw away. I almost barfed on her face.

Blogger NotSoccer Mom said...

omg i'm practically crying i'm laughing so hard!

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