Monday, November 12, 2007
Christmas Abomination Part One

Well, I'm not celebrating Christmas this year, or maybe ever again, thanks to this horror.

The other night I was hindered from sleep by thoughts of my shitty job, weight problem, and lack of romantic interests. I was finally able to coax myself to slumber by thinking "At least Larry the Cable Guy doesn't have a Christmas album."

Oh, how wrong I was. This assault on civilization had already been out for weeks as I lay there misleading myself.

I love the fact that it's available on iTunes. "I might live in a trailer park and use my common-law wife as an ashtray, but by god I'm digital!" says the modern day Larry fan. "Come visit me on Christmas Eve for some oatmeal-n-meth scotchies and GHB rapenog."

Very few CD covers anger me, but this is a rare exception. Looking at his insipid face, I can just imagine Larry stumbling around a mall in a sleeveless Santa outfit, telling minority kids they aren't getting anything for Christmas.

TOMORROW: Christmas Abomination Part Two


13 Comments:

Blogger Dani said...

I don't know who Larry the Cable Guy is. Is it important for me to know? Maybe I should buy the CD.

Blogger flounder said...

Nothing says Christmas quite like Larry the Cable Guy.

Git-R-Dun!

Blogger MommyHeadache said...

what about looking at the glass like its half full? What about saying, if a loser like that can get famous maybe I can too ? ;)

Blogger yellowdart said...

Glad to hear im not the only one that despises Larry the Cable Guy. To this day the phrase "Git-R-Dun" still sends me into a rage blackout.

Blogger Scarlet Hip said...

No idea who this guy is. No desire to find out.

This could be a great "12 Days of Christmas" theme.

Blogger Ubermilf said...

I bet he gets all melty inside his furry red Santa britches.

WTF, where did my previous comment go?

Blogger yournamehere said...

I did not delete any comments.

Blogger Spinning Girl said...

this frightens me.

Blogger Dani said...

OH! Git-er-done! I HAVE heard of that. He's funny :-) I mean, sort of funny. Not TODD funny, of course.

Blogger egan said...

This is very troubling. I'm glad Flounder beat me to the Git-R-Dun line.

Blogger Tits McGee said...

Larry the Cable Guy makes my nut-kicking foot itchy.

Blogger Ian McGibboney said...

Boy, are Wal-Mart's checkout scanners gonna melt from the collective friction of these flying off the shelves! Then who'll have to stop denying global warming?

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