According to a wonderful friend of mine, this NaBloPoMo thing may in fact lead to VALUABLE PRIZES!
In case you haven't noticed (and judging from the comment counts, you haven't), I'm blogging every day for the month of November. Apparently, if you finish the month having not missed a day, the NaBloPoMo mofoes throw your name into the proverbial pot and you could win something! But what? What are the prizes? I'm not going to win anything anyway, but just in case, I'd like to tell the people in charge what I DON'T WANT.
Please do not award me:
-The Dane Cook dvd collection
-An Olive Garden gift certificate
-A blowjob from Carol Channing
-A latex mold of Ann Coulter's vagina
-Newt Gingrich's collection of homeless people's teeth
-A NaBloPoMo t-shirt. Please, not a fucking t-shirt. First of all, anyone who wears a shirt that reads "NaBloPoMo" is just BEGGING for a vicious beatdown. And they'll send a medium or something my fat ass couldn't possibly wear. So don't even bother.
Thank you.
In case you haven't noticed (and judging from the comment counts, you haven't), I'm blogging every day for the month of November. Apparently, if you finish the month having not missed a day, the NaBloPoMo mofoes throw your name into the proverbial pot and you could win something! But what? What are the prizes? I'm not going to win anything anyway, but just in case, I'd like to tell the people in charge what I DON'T WANT.
Please do not award me:
-The Dane Cook dvd collection
-An Olive Garden gift certificate
-A blowjob from Carol Channing
-A latex mold of Ann Coulter's vagina
-Newt Gingrich's collection of homeless people's teeth
-A NaBloPoMo t-shirt. Please, not a fucking t-shirt. First of all, anyone who wears a shirt that reads "NaBloPoMo" is just BEGGING for a vicious beatdown. And they'll send a medium or something my fat ass couldn't possibly wear. So don't even bother.
Thank you.
8 Comments:
I can't believe you'd turn down a blow job.
I can't believe you'd turn down Newt's collection of homeless people's teeth. If you have the means, I would like that for Christmas, thank you very much.
Sweet Jesus, Carol Channing could suck off a blue ribbon bull with that mouth!
I bet Carol Channing can remove her teeth, too.
how about a threesome with Carol Channing and Ann Coulter.
Oh the possibilities are endless!
You didn't specifically mention a dinner at Olive Garden with Dane Cook and Ann Coulter. VRWC can make a call.
Don't be so quick to turn down a BJ from Carol. Her knob jobs are the gift that keeps on giving. And once you go gray, you stay that way.
I saw a production of Peter and the Wolf in which Carol Channing played the duck. To this day, her sideways head tilt and "quack quaaaack." haunt my living dreams.
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