Tuesday, November 06, 2007
Election Day Musings
Today was election day and I was off work because Kentucky state law prohibits the sale of alcohol while the polls are open. Oh, how I love pointless, arcane laws.

Last year I really showed them. I bought a fifth of bourbon the night before election day, drank it the next day and stumbled to my voting place to officially vote while intoxicated! Ha ha ha! How dare the man try to keep me down (I was promptly arrested for public intoxication).

Last night, as alluded to in the previous post, I went to see the Comedians of Comedy tour starring Patton Oswalt. All three comedians were extremely funny and I almost laughed myself out of the soul-deflating funk I've been in. Almost.

My favorite moment from last night was when Patton went off on some asshole attention-seeking heckler. Folks, I've been to a lot of concerts and no one from the audience has ever screamed out ANYTHING that was even remotely funny to anyone but themselves and their stupid friends. "Hey, I'm drunk in public. Obviously everyone wants to hear what I have to say."

WRONG! Shut your fucking twinkie-hole, dickface; or a professional comedian will emasculate you in front of hundreds of people. You will not, I promise you, be the first audience member in the history of stand-up comedy to make the audience laugh with you and not at you. If you want to entertain a crowd, jump off the Second Street bridge at rush hour.


8 Comments:

Blogger Scarlet Hip said...

Twinkie Hole!

I see Dem Steve Beshear won the KY govenors race today. Enjoy paying higher taxes.

Blogger miss kendra said...

it almost is enough to make me want to be humiliated though. because the humor! i mean, it would be fresh meat!

Were you with us that night at the Improv at Harrah's where the comic ran a guy out of the room? He humiliated the shit out of this guy! They should listen to your advice: "Never fuck with a guy that has a microphone."

Blogger yourflounderhere said...

I'd have to be drunk to vote for democrats too.

Blogger Ćœbermilf said...

I'd like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony.

Blogger GiveEmHellHarry said...

Wait. Nobody wants to listen to a drunken asshole? Why do I blog then? I am so confused.

PS: Friends don't let friends drink and vote Democrat.

Blogger Nick said...

I prefer erection day.

Post a Comment

<< Home

footer