Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Our First Ever "Lucky Bastard of the Month" Award

This is Tim Tebow. He's a sophomore in college, so he still has his youth; his precious, fleeting youth. He plays quarterback for the Florida Gators and is a front runner for the Heisman Trophy, the coolest looking trophy in all of sport.

But that's not why he's lucky. C'mon, just look at that girl! That's his girlfriend, folks. Sweet lord of heaven and tit, she's hot. I'd pop fifty Viagra and pogo to Florida with my cock just to masturbate to an artist's rendering of a woman who passed this young lady in the hall.

I've been advised by my attorney to add that this hot chick is probably an intelligent woman and a nice person. But really, with boobs like that, who cares? Tim Tebow is nineteen years old. He doesn't go to college parties trolling for the love of his life. He found a very attractive girl whose jig-bitties should be on our currency. That makes him DWAFM's Inaugural Lucky Bastard of the Month.


19 Comments:

Blogger Jo said...

Ummm... yeah.

I have no response to that.

I'd much rather receive the "Lucky Bastard of the Month" Award than the "Right Wind Douchebag of the Month" Award I received from the Mullet a year or so ago. By the way, I fully expect to receive the RWDBOFTM award again this year.

Blogger yourflounderhere said...

Being that hot, she must go to Florida State.

...and I am also vying for the RWDBOTM award.

Blogger Jeannie said...

Too bad they're fake.

They seem like a nice couple.

Blogger Nick said...

Yeah, I'm real upset that they're fake. I bet Tim is too.

He probably cries himself to sleep each night in two huge fake pillows.

Blogger Übermilf said...

Sure, she looks good now -- just wait until the two alien babies she's gestating in her enormous orbs pop out and devour the world's inhabitants.

Blogger miss kendra said...

i find her boobs terrifying. that couples with the odd broadness of her shoulders... it looks like they photoshopped an attractive face on to a post op.

and i mean that in the nicest way possible.

Blogger Joe said...

C'mon. Are they real? Are they fake? Let's clarify.

Do they have mass? Do they occupy space in three dimensions? Can you touch them (theoretically, an ass-beating from a 19-year old quarterback not-withstanding)?

They're real.

Blogger Scarlet Hip said...

I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you over the tits.

Blogger Liv said...

I love it.

Blogger Cold Hands said...

Holy hell, yup, you are correct sir.

Blogger Lauren said...

He's way hotter than she is. She's the lucky bastard. I wouldn't mind a hard-bodied, 19-year-old, quarterback boyfriend.

Oh, wait. I'd have to talk to him.

Blogger Scarlet Hip said...

By the way, this post is incredibly superficial.

And amphibious.

Blogger Steph said...

lmao! Your turn of phrase makes me pee myself.

Blogger Tits McGee said...

He's totally lucky. If they were lost at sea together, she would be an excellent flotational device.

Blogger Kate said...

lmao. she is pretty hot. and you're freaking hilarious.

Blogger Ian McGibboney said...

I could take him. And I probably will.

Blogger Spinning Girl said...

I think I caught the same virus that she had.

Blogger 2012天氣晴朗 said...

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